Happily Divorced

“…so what are you going to say at my funeral
now that you have killed me?
here lies the body of the love of my life
whose heart I broke without a gun to my head
here lies the body of the mother of my children
both living and dead
rest in peace my true love
the most bomb pussy who because of me
sleep evaded
her shroud is loneliness
her god was listening
her heaven will be a love without betrayal…”

I know I have been MIA but not without reason. As you all know Nina and I were married last June and what started out as a fairytale has ended. Initially met with shock now I am beaming with nothing but pure happiness. I always said that I did not want to get married; I always wanted to be a mother never a wife. This was a good lesson for me to learn. 

Nina was the one who orchestrated the divorce. I tried to save our marriage by suggesting we attend counseling but she refused. So after the initial shock of being blindsided with the news (which came from my realtor by the way) I started to take inventory of the state of my life with Nina post nuptials and realized I’m better off without her in my life. 

Nina has severe anger and depression issues that stem from a 20+ year relationship with her ex. She refuses to get help. Every time we would have an argument the first words out of her mouth were “I’ll just file for divorce.” There are only so many times you can pull the divorce card before you have to ride or die on it. The constant attitude and comparing me to her ex was more than enough. 

So I learned my lesson. I’m too fabulous to keep loving broken women. I’m too much of a social butterfly to be with someone who is anti-social and prefers to live a doom and gloom existence for the rest of their life. Motherhood suits me just fine but marriage is not for me.

I gave it a try and I can honestly say that I never want to get married again. 

Now bring on the dates…

City Letter: Open Relationships & Polyamory

Dear LITC,

I like your blog and how you are comfy with exposing your life for us to learn about and even inspire us. My girl and I are having this argument and I want your point of view. We been together like 3 years and some change now and I asked her how she felt about a threesome in the future. She hit me back with the what about us having an open relationship or both of us being allowed to get it in with other females. I admit I am kinda shocked and all but on the real should I be worried she is cheating or has been entertaining other females? Am I not enough for her anymore?

-Dee The Stud

Hi Dee, thanks for your letter and I apologize for the delay in posting. None the less, I’ll happily share my opinion with you and please keep in mind my thoughts and views on this topic has changed but that’s what we do: Grow & Evolve. Speaking of which, your girlfriend may have changed her views since you two first got together…and that’s perfectly normal as we get deeper into relationships. Have you two had this discussion before? If so was she against the idea of a threesome or has she always been open to polyamory/open relationships? 

In my 20’s the idea of an open relationship seemed pointless to me but now I have to admit that hell I’d love to have my own girlfriend or have a monogamous triad. And believe it or not, Nina is open to it as well. My reasoning is because I like the idea of sexual adventures with others while still enjoying and maintaining my primary relationship. It doesn’t mean I love Nina any less, I just like the ability to miscellaneous thrills as well. This may not be your girlfriends thinking, or it may be what she has always been feeling.

Should you be worried? I always say trust your gut feeling. If you think there is something going on, there is something going on. Don’t discredit your gut. Are you enough? Of course you are, there is no way a sane woman would remain in a relationship for three years with someone who she doesn’t view as enough…and if she does then she is just flat out STUPID!

What I suggest is you two sit down and have a heart to heart talk about your wants, needs, and desires. Keep the communication open on both ends and if you two desire the same things i.e. threesomes, open relationships, etc then talk about how this will seriously affect your relationship going forward. By all means please do not use these avenues as a way to fix or heal any internal problems the two of you are having as they only in disaster and heartache. 

Good Luck to both of you and I hope everything works out for the best.

Lesbian In The City Fans, what do you think? How do you feel about Open Relationships and Polyamory? Speak Up, Speak Out!

I's Married Now

Happy July Love’s! I’m back, I’m married…and I’m also a Mommy! Say what?!? Yes, I am also a Mommy! 

Nina and I said I Do on June 17^th in front of our friends in beautiful Las Vegas. I love Vegas and cannot wait to go back. We had a beautiful suite, awesome last night of freedom at the strip club (Shout Out to Lacy’s Lounge and Passion), beautiful views during dinner at the Stratosphere, and just a wonderful time all around. Vegas was the perfect choice for a stress free, nothing but fun wedding experience. I am so grateful that we ditched the whole Big Wedding at Home idea. I couldn’t handle the stress.

So how is married life? Honestly, nothing has changed. The only difference is you now have a piece of paper…and you can’t put the other person out. Nina and I are still the same with each other, only now we are aware that the other is truly effected by choices each of us makes in terms of finances, etc. We make joint decisions about big things now versus just giving the other person a heads up. And we make it known that the other person has speaking power where one of us is concerned so conversations are full circle. 

In-Law issues? We’ve had one or two, from her side of course (not surprised) but we handled it and pretty much went on about our business. People are petty and spiteful and unfortunately we call them family…but that doesn’t mean I have to take the bait and lower myself to their standards. I’ll just act like you don’t exist and carry on with my life. 

And the Mommy business? I am not preggers and have not been preggers, although that is still in the plans. Nina and I are going to get full custody of and adopt my infant niece. We have been helping my folks care for her and we are ready to move forward with having her full-time thus making us Mommies! I am excited, we love her very much, and she looks just like me so it’s an added bonus. 

In other news…I have decided to get out of hospital Nursing and venture back into social services centered nursing or just back to the realm of Program Management period. So much has changed in Nursing and for the worse. I’d rather be rated on my ability to save your life versus my ability to ensure that your coffee is “180 degrees” (real comment from a survey by the way). Nina and I have also started our own business so we’re on our road to being a power lesbian couple. 

So much has been going on in this world that I am definitely going to speak on our crocked law enforcement system and instilling values back into our families and communities. These are sad times we are living in…but for now I am happy, married, and mommy.

Where's Waldo...More Like Where's Lesbian In The City?

I’m sorry for the disappearing act I pulled but I promise it was not intentional. Where do I begin. Ever since Nina and I got engaged we have had nonstop, whirlwind schedules. Like I’m getting married in a month and I just picked out my dress this past weekend. Yeah I know, crazy! 

Nina and I decided to get married in Las Vegas. We’re going for four days and decided to stay at Treasure Island where we also plan to have the ceremony. We got a great suite for our stay and we are excited about friends who are joining us. Can you say Think Like A Man 2 kinda experience? Hell Yeah!

Of course I won’t be ending up in the Clark County Jail. 

Now I know I owe you two City Letters post which I promise to get posted before I leave for my Wedding adventure. In the meantime, what have you all been up to?

Happy 2016, I'm Engaged!

I knew 2016 was going to be a game changer for me but never to this degree. I am happy to say that as of midnight on New Years Eve 2015 Nina and I are engaged to be married. It was a beautiful, romantic surprise and I was happy to say Yes! In all my past relationships, marriage was a cute fantasy but something I knew deep down I could not follow through with the women I was seeing. Something inside me always said wait for the end, wait for the other shoe to fall. Not once have I ever had these thoughts or issues with Nina, in fact I was always the voice of reason any time Nina wanted to discuss future endeavors. I would tell her that we will discuss and plan those things when we get to that bridge. Truth be told, when a woman is certain about what she wants in her life she will make the moves required to make it happen. Nina is use to taking charge in her business life, she gets the deals done and in her personal life she does as well. A life with me was her goal and intention and now we’re on the road to making that a reality. 

The ring, I won’t post pictures here but will tell you that it is a Classic 4 prong set round diamond solitaire with pave setting on the band. It’s a total of 2 carats with the solitaire being 1 carat. The cut is amazing and catches light like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Nina has great connections for the best of anything. The plan is to have a destination wedding but not one of the traditional variety. We’re both not into traditional weddings hence us deciding that our special day should be about us having fun and enjoying the start of our lives together. We have one place in mind and have told some of our closes friends who are excited to join us. 

Thus far 2016 has exceeded my expectations. I never thought I would be telling the world I’m engaged and preparing for marriage. 2015 had opened my eyes to a lot of things in my life that needed to change, who I bestow the title of friend upon was one of them. Hello 2016, let’s get this thing started! 

Oh and just a heads up, over the holidays when work and family functions got hectic I received two City Letters i.e. emails from followers asking me questions for advice or just to debate my opinion on some of the things that I have posted here. The next two blog post will be answering their emails or what I will term City Letters. Stay tuned and if you have a question, comment, rant, or whatever feel free to send them to my inbox and I’ll answer them in a City Letters post.