Maybe, Baby?

These past few months just about everyone I know is either having a baby or getting pregnant. All this baby popping and conceiving made the alarm in my head go off about a question I have been tussling with for a few years now - Give birth? Adopt? Both?

When I was younger, like most girls, I knew I wanted to have a child - a girl for sure. But when I realized I was a Lesbian I knew having a child in the conventional way was out of the question (Sorry Ladies, I am not one to take one for the Team). My only option was a donor. I have to admit the idea of not knowing my child’s father kind of freaked me out a bit. I mean what am I going to tell her when she asks about her father? Oh sweetie your Daddy is donor #19274. What the f**k! I did some research into the AI (Artificial Insemination) process and took on a whole new mentality - I can tailor make my baby! When I searched the donor list I discovered that there were many options to choose from - ethnicity, complexion, hair color, hair texture, eye color, education level (there’s a Graduate Donor’s list of men who have Graduate degrees and beyond), religion, and there is a celebrity look alike category which shows you pictures of the celebrities your potential donor looks like - Umm yes, I will take the Paul Walker look-a-like donor. I know we will make a beautiful daughter together! Don’t be fooled, AI is NOT a cheap process. Just one vial alone cost minimally $545.00 and that DOES NOT include shipping, storage, and insemination via a trained medical professional. And depending on your age and medical history you may need to do more than one insemination so the price triples and quadruples until you conceive.

The process of being pregnant and giving birth is an adventure unto itself, which is one of the reasons why adoption is appealing to me. The path I have set out for myself to complete in this lifetime is going to require me to work odd hours and even travel every 6 weeks during certain times of the year. Add a newborn to the equation and things can get virtually impossible. Having a school age child can make being a Superwoman/Super Mom a lot easier. I’ve always wanted to raise a strong, powerful, intelligent woman, and giving a girl a good home and nothing but unconditional love is something I would love to do. But as eager as I am to change the world one girl at a time, there are still hurdles - no matter how subtle or unspoken they may be - to adopting a Single Lesbian Woman. Many states won’t allow Lesbian couples to adopt children, and they are not to fond of the idea of Single Lesbians adopting children. You have to protect your rights and the rights of your child so you need an attorney on deck who is knowledgeable and understanding. And they don’t come cheap. There are home visit fees, which depending on if you adopt a child in foster care or a newborn can be completed by the State for free or can expect to pay anywhere from $1000-$5000. The good news: You can stick it to Uncle Sam because it’s all tax deductible. Adopting a child comes with a lot of perks, but I think the best one of all is that I can give a child a chance to have a semi-normal life filled with love and acceptance.

I’m definitely going to do both - give birth and adopt a child - but in what order, that is still left to be decided. No matter what road I choose to take first two things are certain: (1) The name of my blog will be changed to Sex and the Single Lesbian Mom, and (2) My child is going to have a wonderful group of people who love them just as much as I do, if not more.