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| Femme Invisibility IT'S REAL |
Yes, you
read that correctly. According to some members of the (Black) Lesbian community, mainly those who identify as Studs, a
Feminine Lesbian who ONLY PREFERS Feminine Lesbians is a Bisexual. Hmmm…rejection
issues, much?!? I think so.
If you didn’t
know, or care to know, Femme Invisibility is ALIVE, WELL, & REAL! Femme
Invisibility: Lesbian women who are Feminine get seen as straight—by
Heterosexuals, other non-Femme identified Lesbians, and sometimes even by our
fellow Femme Lesbians. Why? Because America and the Lesbian community conforms
to Lesbian stereotype of either the Butch/Stud Lesbian or relationships that imitate
the traditional Heterosexual relationship complete with specified Gender Roles.
I can write an entire thesis on Femme Invisibility, but that’s not the topic of
today’s discussion.
If I had a dollar for every time I was accused of being a
Bisexual because of my preference for Feminine Lesbians I would have Nursing
School paid for and still have funds leftover to plan the ultimate girls’
weekend in Vegas. I’m a Lesbian and have been since I was like 8 years old. I’ve
never had a boyfriend, never dated men, and have no intentions of every doing
so. So Studs, no I don’t care about your money, your cars, your clothes, your
whores (…I suppose…I just wanna be
successful…Love that Drake song). That never impresses me.
I have a type, just like the rest of the world, and SHE
DOES NOT LOOK LIKE OR CAN BE MISTAKEN FOR A HE. She can be called a Femme,
Sporty-Femme, or Femme with an Edge. She’s just as comfortable in jeans,
sweats, and a t-shirt as she is in a business suit, cocktail dress, or formal
gown. She can be an Alpha Female and take charge, or she can be the Beta Female
and let me run the show. She can hit the hair salon and nail salon on a
bi-weekly basis with me, and indulge a little or a lot at the MAC store. Her
mannerisms are Feminine, yet she does not conform to Gender Roles so opening
doors is not seen as a “man/stud thing” it’s a common courtesy thing (I still
walk Old Ladies across the street). Cultured, Educated, & Sophisticated.
And for those who need Visual Aids, here are some
pictures of women I consider to be My Type:
So stop the hatred and accusations. Every Femme is not
looking for a Stud, and every Stud is not looking for a Femme. Find a woman who
loves your type and run with it…
Even, though I am bisexual, I think it's dumb to think ONLY WE date femmes, so I love this post! Actually, I'm finding usually it's only bisexual femmes dating studs, so I don't know what some folks are on about! I guess they think Bi chicks are trying to vicariously live through porn stars with the whole sexy femmes freaking thing or something.
ReplyDeleteIn the Lesbian community this is actually an issue. I cannot speak for the Bisexual experience because I never have been one, nor have I ever dated one. But in the Lesbian community adhereing to the old Butch-Femme model of dating is rampant especially in the African-American Lesbian community. So basically anyone who steps outside of that so called realm of "Normal" is looked upon differently and criticized for their choice (F4F or S4S). Also Feminine Lesbians are faced with Femme Invisibility whereas the outside world even the Lesbian community cannot discern whether we are Lesbian or Straight. Again, I have no idea what goes on in the Bisexual community. I can just preach and validate what I have experienced being a Feminine Lesbian...
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