We had a week
off for Spring Break which was a blessing because I was able to spend some time
with my Grandmother and family in Pittsburgh. Back in December my Grandmother
asked to see me when I have a break from school and I promised her that I would
spend part of my Spring Break with her. As much as I would have loved to be
somewhere warm and tropical, I have not seen my Grandmother since my
Grandfather’s funeral back in 2010. So it was time. My Mother was also on break
from her University so she decided to join me in Pittsburgh.
Here’s a
little background on my relationship with my Mother: My Mother is White (Russian-Jewish to be exact). I love her
dearly, she is my best friend and I am blessed that she is very supportive of
me personally and professionally. I am her only child and therefore very
spoiled by her. I can (and do) tell
her any and everything. She brags about me to her colleagues and students and I
brag about her to my instructors and friends. We have always traveled well
together and she always asks me to tag along to her national and international
conferences (which are all expense paid
for us. Perks of being a Dean and her daughter). When it comes to a
Mother-Daughter duo, we could not be closer.
BUT this trip
I started to really take notice of things about my Mother and myself that I
assume were always there but never were crystal clear until now.
My Mother is
very hyper. Now don’t get me wrong, my ass can’t sit down at times and
sometimes my mind refuses to shut off at night keeping me awake (and causing me to engage in interesting projects
i.e. baking cupcakes at 1AM!) but my Mother is extremely anxious and hyper.
My Mother is
(or has become) very pretentious and
personalizes EVERYTHING. One morning we decided to have brunch at Pamela’s
(where President Obama and Vice President Biden have dined during their trips
to Pittsburgh – great food!) and passed a canvasser on the street. He asked if
we would like to make a donation to the HRC fund. I respectfully declined,
however my Mother went on the rant with him about how we were travelers. Ummm
what the f*ck does that have to do with anything?!? Ugh!!!!!!!
My Mother is
either jealous of her older sister or she does not want me to form any kind of
relationship with her older sister. This was the eye opener for me. My Aunt is
the Dean of a University and she works long hours, rarely taking time off for
herself. This trip was the first time that I got to interact with my Aunt
outside of having to take care of dire family issues. Instead of working the
entire time, my Aunt took days off to drive my Mother and I around and explore
Pittsburgh with us. I got to spend some quality time with my Aunt. We talked,
we shopped, we bonded. She made an effort to have family dinner with us and
even picked up all the food. I have to admit it was truly a relief to be with
her in that way. The last day we went to the museum before going to dinner and
while my Aunt was using the ladies room I commented to my Mother how much I
have enjoyed spending this quality time with my Aunt and how down to earth and
laid back she is. I also told my Mother that I would be coming back to
Pittsburgh to spend more time with my Grandmother and my Aunt. I guess my Aunt
is a hot button for my Mother because her words to me were: “That’s a very uneducated opinion for you to
form. Researchers don’t form a conclusion based on one observation. And she’s
not so laid back because she yells at [my Uncle’s name] all the time.” What
the f*ck!!!!!!! Did she really say that to me? Of course I told my Mother she
was way out of line. I barely spoke to her for the remainder of the trip.
I don’t know
if we’re going through another growing pains phase or if I’ve just truly grown
up and mellowed out, but I know things are changing between my Mother and
myself. I’m seeing a side of her that I don’t completely like and I’m not quite
sure how to deal with it at this moment.
In the meantime, my Aunt said she wished I had stayed in Pittsburgh
longer so that we could really run around the city. I told her I’d come back
when the weather was a little warmer i.e. June/July. She’s looking forward to
it and so am I…
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