So let me
tell you about my woman, Mrs. Right. If someone told me to make a list of all
the qualities and things your ideal lover would possess, I’d be crossing off
95% of the items when it comes to her. She’s not perfect, which is perfect
because I don’t want nor need her to be. Professionally, she is everything I
believe a strong, educated, woman should be. She carries herself as a lady
should but she’s tough, ambitious, highly intelligent, and knows her stuff. I
regularly get to see the softer, loving, affectionate side of her which I
absolutely adore. I can’t begin to describe the incredible feelings that flood
me when she falls asleep in my arms. A truly priceless moment that I would not
pass up for anyone or anything.
I love her…but
like my feelings regarding my final year of Nursing School – I’m excited, yet
very scared. And thus the war within me has begun.
My friend
Nikki says I’m a Runner (and she can say this because she is a self-proclaimed
Runner) – “at the first sign of trouble or your mate screwing up, you’re ready
to head for the hills.” I’m not exactly like that, more like my fear of things
not progressing the way I’d like, or fear of pouring so much of myself into
something and someone that only ends in a broken heart causes me to feel like
pulling back at times.
On the other
side of the war I have this insatiable desire for love and companionship. I
think love is a beautiful thing; it’s the most amazing feeling in the world.
Building a solid foundation for a long term relationship is part of the joy of
loving your mate. As much as I am realistic and prepared for the world of
Single Motherhood nothing beats raising a family with the woman you love. There
are traditions regarding holidays to establish, birthday celebrations to have,
and little league sports games for me to attend in my stilettos and skinny
jeans. The Family Life is my ideal life.
How can it be
that the one thing you want the most scares you the most? I love Mrs. Right and
my goal is for this to work.
I’m just
going to fight this internal war one day at a time…