This post is going to be highly personal, more so than ever
before but I need to get this off my chest and out of my head.
Everyone knows that I am my Mother’s only child, but I also
have two brothers (26 and 21) from my Father and his Wife. I rarely speak about
them (with the exception of my little brother) because I’m not a big fan of the
26 year old and my Father’s Wife…and now more recently my Father.
My Father’s Wife was always verbally, physically, and
emotionally abusive towards me growing up. She would call me bitches, put me
down constantly, and always accuse me of doing drugs or having sex. I had self-esteem
issues all the way into my early 20’s because of this. I swear she is Bipolar
and has Borderline Personality Disorder traits. We’ve
never been close and truth be told we never will be.
The 26 year old is the one my Father’s Wife should have been
accusing of doing drugs and everything under the sun – yet never did say a
word. He dropped out of High School, has warrants for his arrest in more than
one state, has 5 children by 4 different women, no form of employment, drinks,
uses numerous drugs, and like his mother is Bipolar with Borderline Personality
Disorder.
The 21 year old is more like me. He’s got his shit together –
graduated high school, went to college, and now has a very lucrative job which
has enabled him to strike out on his own and purchase his first home.
Growing up with these folks was clearly no walk in the park.
Here you have two children who are doing what is asked of them, they are
completing their education, they’re not out selling drugs to undercover cops,
not throwing tantrums and destroying your home because they can’t have their
way, they’re not out there making babies and bills they can’t take care of yet
not once have they had the support system they needed. Lucky for me I had my
Mother, she has always been my biggest support but my 21 year old brother didn’t
have anyone at home, he got his support from his teachers and some Aunts.
My (Passive) Father and his Wife have spent years and years
enabling and rewarding the negative behaviors of the 26 year old. They support
his kids, they support his drug habits, they allow him to constantly wreak
havoc upon their home, they lie to the warrant squad when they show up at 3AM
to haul his ass off to jail, they pay for his trips to Florida to visit
relatives and hang out on the beach, they drive him everywhere instead of
making him use public transportation (yet if he wants his drugs he will find a
way to get to his dealer but tell him to find a job and he needs a ride
everywhere), and make excuse after excuse for his behaviors.
So when my Father’s Wife’s birthday rolled around a few days
ago and no one acknowledged it (I never remember when her birthday is, but I do
know my Mother’s is December 17th), not even the 26 year old who is
constantly getting bailed, until my Father proceeded to berate us for it and
then has the audacity to question the resentment. You and your Wife breeded
this resentment. In my opinion they don’t care about anyone other than the 26
year old and his kids. It’s been obvious for years.
Today my Father said that all of this (referring to how we
don’t want to be bothered by him or his Wife) was going to come back on us. Funny
thing is that this is their Karma. Treat your good kids’ right and maybe
someday they’ll treat you the same…
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