Femme 4 Femme = Bisexual?!?



Femme Invisibility
IT'S REAL

Yes, you read that correctly. According to some members of the (Black) Lesbian community, mainly those who identify as Studs, a Feminine Lesbian who ONLY PREFERS Feminine Lesbians is a Bisexual. Hmmm…rejection issues, much?!? I think so.

If you didn’t know, or care to know, Femme Invisibility is ALIVE, WELL, & REAL! Femme Invisibility: Lesbian women who are Feminine get seen as straight—by Heterosexuals, other non-Femme identified Lesbians, and sometimes even by our fellow Femme Lesbians. Why? Because America and the Lesbian community conforms to Lesbian stereotype of either the Butch/Stud Lesbian or relationships that imitate the traditional Heterosexual relationship complete with specified Gender Roles. I can write an entire thesis on Femme Invisibility, but that’s not the topic of today’s discussion.

If I had a dollar for every time I was accused of being a Bisexual because of my preference for Feminine Lesbians I would have Nursing School paid for and still have funds leftover to plan the ultimate girls’ weekend in Vegas. I’m a Lesbian and have been since I was like 8 years old. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never dated men, and have no intentions of every doing so. So Studs, no I don’t care about your money, your cars, your clothes, your whores (…I suppose…I just wanna be successful…Love that Drake song). That never impresses me.

I have a type, just like the rest of the world, and SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE OR CAN BE MISTAKEN FOR A HE. She can be called a Femme, Sporty-Femme, or Femme with an Edge. She’s just as comfortable in jeans, sweats, and a t-shirt as she is in a business suit, cocktail dress, or formal gown. She can be an Alpha Female and take charge, or she can be the Beta Female and let me run the show. She can hit the hair salon and nail salon on a bi-weekly basis with me, and indulge a little or a lot at the MAC store. Her mannerisms are Feminine, yet she does not conform to Gender Roles so opening doors is not seen as a “man/stud thing” it’s a common courtesy thing (I still walk Old Ladies across the street). Cultured, Educated, & Sophisticated.

And for those who need Visual Aids, here are some pictures of women I consider to be My Type:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So stop the hatred and accusations. Every Femme is not looking for a Stud, and every Stud is not looking for a Femme. Find a woman who loves your type and run with it…

Status Change: How Soon Is Too Soon?

Can I get a AMEN?

When you really haven’t dated in a long time and you finally find someone you (think you) click with and could potentially build a relationship with you get super excited and the first thing you are tempted to do is showcase it on Facebook. How do you do so? By changing your relationship status of course!

The infamous Facebook Relationship Status Change. Over the past week I have seen about 20% of my Facebook Friends change their relationship status:

Case #1 – Person A and Person B have dated before, but Person B was more of a Shane type and therefore the demise of that relationship was born. Fast Forward to 2 weeks ago when Person A and Person B’s Facebook status read they have gone from Single to a Relationship with Person A/B…Fast Forward to last week’s status message for Person: Person A has gone from being In a Relationship to Single

Case #2 – Person C and Person D have been on again/off again forever. One month they’re engaged and happy, six months later they’re rocking out to Single Ladies, and a week later they’re back at it Engaged again. It’s an Engaged-Single cycle with them and I don’t know if it will ever end!

Case #3 – Person E changes their relationship status from Single to Married every time she has a first date with someone, only to change it back to Single a few days later when she decides the woman is no longer the one. My advice to Person E was to stop trying to Wife every chick they date and just get to know them.

I’m not one to change my Facebook status all willy nilly. When I was with my Ex I did not change my relationship status until we had sex and established that we were in a relationship. So I went from Single to being In a Relationship, but when she cheated and we split I went back to being Single. Now that I am putting myself back out there in terms of wanting to Date and hopefully form a relationship I’m very hesitant about ever changing my relationship status from Single unless it’s from Single to Married.

SN/Update: I made the decision to no longer see “Beautiful” (the first Black woman I ever dated). She’s still married to her Wife, and I know I deserve and can do better than a Married Woman…