A Dying Breed: The Clair Huxtable Type

The other day I was talking to my friends about the current state of my Singlehood. They know I’m very happy being single and loving the peace and sanity it provides. They also know that I’ve talked to a few people here and there but nothing worth really pursuing. Some called me picky, which I openly admit I am, while others applauded me for my high standards. 

I realized I’m looking for a member of the dying breed – The Clair Huxtable type. If you remember the Cosby Show you had an awesome childhood because that’s when positive portrayals of African-Americans on television outweighed the ratchetness. For those unlucky few who have no idea what I’m referring to here’s a brief synopsis: Clair Olivia Huxtable is the elegantly tough, eloquent, and engaging wife of Cliff, who is known for her relaxed confidence and striking emphasis. Aside from her deep and decorated self-expression, Clair can also be playful and silly. She is an intelligent, classy, and successful businesswoman. A great debater, Clair rarely if ever loses an argument on the show, a testament to her career as an Attorney. She is also highly skilled in areas of recall about facts and dates, which she uses during discussions and debates: in one episode she is shown quoting a passage and even the page number of a book during an appearance at a television roundtable. Clair is bilingual and speaks Spanish. Several episodes also showcased her singing talent. Despite her elegant-styled toughness and strictness, Clair is a very loving mother and wife.

Clair is what I consider to be the epitome of feminism. She’s sexy yet very classy, knows how to speak her mind without getting loud and rowdy. She’s cultured, educated, sophisticated, independent, excellent matriarch and above all a true Lady. When did we get away from this: 

Today, too many chicks are acting like the cast of the Bad Girls Club or would rather emulate the Twerk Team. You can keep that! I want a classy lady with ambition, dreams, college education, career, and Miss Independent. I know she’s among the last of the Mohicans but I’m holding strong to the hope that she will cross my path.

It's Official: I'm 30 & Fabulous

On Friday I turned 30 years old. Yes, the Big 3 0. On Saturday I celebrated 30 years of fabulous with my family and friends at my home in New Jersey. It was a House Party 90’s Throwback Party…that is until we drank too much and the music went more Onyx Strip Club than Throwback. I had a wonderful night and have plenty of alcohol leftover.

How does it feel to be 30? Wiser, content with being single, confident about my future in Nursing, and more sure than anything in this world that motherhood is definitely for me. I’ve learned to truly walk away from family and people who are nothing but negative, and see certain family members for who they are. I’ve learned just how much my friends are truly more like family and have started addressing them as such. 

The most important lesson of them all: true love has it’s own timing, being single is the most freeing feeling in the world, and supporting those that are doing good will come back to you tenfold. 

Happy 30 & Fabulous to me…

 

I Do, But I Won't: Part Deux

Summer and Cancer Season are in full effect. The countdown to my Thirty & Fabulous  birthday has begun. A lot has changed in the realm of Gay Marriage since my first post on this subject. More and more states are granting same sex couples the right to legalize their love and union in the eyes of their states. I think it’s a beautiful thing…but it still hasn’t changed my mind about signing papers in my future. 

As I’ve said before, I’m not anti-relationships or anti-commitment. I have no issue being loyal, honest, loving, caring, respectful to the woman I love. A piece of paper is not going to make me (or anyone) stop or start doing those things. Just a fact of life! 

Ceremonies and the Dreadful Dress…if there’s anything I can’t stand with passion about weddings it’s the ceremony and the dresses. I hate wedding dresses! I think they’re overpriced, unnecessary nonsense. How women continue to justify spending hundreds even thousands of dollars on a dress that you’re going to wear for a few hours and never wear again, is mind boggling to me. When you make a commitment to spend your life with someone you’re supposed to be thinking long term/long haul. I’m sure that money could be better spent or better served sitting in a high interest savings account. Ceremonies are always something I believed should be a private event between the couple and two witnesses. Just always felt that way. 

Divorce vs LTC…Remember when that straight people are responsible for the 50% divorce rate statistic memes that were going around? Yeah well the Gay and Lesbian community are contributing to those numbers too…and I’m not just talking a few here and there either. Since same sex marriages have become legalized a lot of Gay and Lesbian couples are jumping the broom. It’s a beautiful thing BUT far too many are doing so just because they can. I cannot begin to tell you how many post I see on Lesbian pages about couples being together for 2 months and one is asking how to propose, or couples who were together for a year, got married and now 3 months into it they’re heading for a divorce. Huh?!? Do people think before they act anymore? Meanwhile you have Gay and Lesbian couples who have been together forever and a day and their relationships are more stable and stronger than any marriage out there – Straight or Gay/Lesbian. 

Legal Protection…or so you think…Same Sex Marriages aren’t federally recognized meaning any state that does not allow same sex marriages can opt not to recognize your union. Marriage has a list of perks, breaks, and benefits attached to it but at the end of the day you still need to sit down with an attorney. People contest things like you would not believe, and there are cases of a same sex couples wishes being overridden by hateful family members even though the couple was married. So instead of spending all that money on a wedding, go sit down with an attorney and put those dollars to better use. That’s my plan! 

I’m a firm believer of never say never (to a certain extent because there are some things I will never do), but I highly doubt I’d ever be okay with signing a marriage license. Now if they invoke an expiration date like your driver’s license (which I believe needs to seriously be considered) then maybe my mind will be more open to the idea. A piece of paper and a ring are not going to make you a better partner  just like a new stethoscope is not going to make you a better Nurse. You have to be your best from day one and make the commitment to be a better person for you and for your partner each and everyday. No piece of paper can give you that.