The Cheating Curve

There may be three blog post this month because this one I just had to get out of my head. Before I get onto my soapbox, Mrs. Right and I are three months in. Again, Happy Anniversary Babe! Some people may say it’s crazy to “celebrate” such a short milestone but this is one of the (many) ways we show each other how important our relationship is to us…and to the world.

Cheating. Let me start by saying that I in no way, shape, or form have ever cheated on anyone I have been in a relationship with, nor do I condone cheating, I don’t accept it in my relationships and I will end my relationship with a Cheater – no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it! OVER! During brunch with Mrs. Right, one of my good friends got the confirmation she had been seeking that her girlfriend of 2.5 years was cheating on her. It really hit home with me because I know exactly how she’s feeling, the exact thoughts that are going through her mind, and I know it will take her a long time to fully trust women again. Been there, done that.

Before anyone gets into a monogamous relationship, I suggest that they have a talk with their partner about cheating – have they ever cheated during a relationship and what do they consider cheating – which reminds me I should have that talk with Mrs. Right ASAP! The definition of cheating varies from person to person. Some say physical intimacy is what defines cheating, some believe in emotional cheating where you are emotionally invested in someone other than your partner, some go as far to say that thinking about having sex with a person other than your partner is cheating.

To me, cheating is any form of physical or emotional intimacy vested in another love interest (whether it be a mutual interest or one sided) outside of your relationship. One thing I have learned is to watch behaviors and listen very carefully, and if nothing else GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING. If a conversation doesn’t sound right, all of a sudden destinations get changed, new friends that can’t seem to meet you but your partner is always with them or your partner stops giving you information or checking in like they used to and you get a feeling (no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise) that something is up. It is!

Communication is the easiest, yet the hardest thing for two people to do, but it is essential to any relationship. I don’t understand how hard it is for someone to be an adult, admit that they are no longer feeling their partner and their relationship and move on without the added messiness and drama that cheating brings. I guess some folks just like to have their cake and eat it too.

Not with this woman…

The Business of Getting Pregnant

Nursing 201 is now complete…and I don’t miss it one bit. Nursing School has become a drag. Bitchy classmates, bitchy instructors, and just bitchy people in general. It’s mentally exhausting and I cannot wait for it to be over so I can get on with the next chapter in my life.

The other day on Facebook one of my Lesbian couple friends posted that they were celebrating their daughter’s Creation Day which was the day they went to their doctor and began their insemination/conception journey. As stressed out as I was this made me smile because reality set in that this time next year I’ll be preparing to do the same.

For a long time I debated about adoption first, conception two years post or conception first, adoption maybe. Before my Godmother passed in 2011, during one of our last conversations she asked me to give her a natural born granddaughter (she had three boys and got two grandsons, it’s time for some serious estrogen in the family). I promised I would. (Crossing my fingers) And I will.

Planned pregnancies with no “Penis Partner” (as my Midwife likes to call them) involvement can be expensive. As much as I have willing, very attractive, Asian doctors who would love to make Blasian babies with me. I’m sure they prefer the conventional method of conception. And that is never an option. A vial of sperm from California Cryobank can run you from $550-$750. You have the option of Intracervical Insemination (ICI) and Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). The latter is more expensive yet gives you a better chance at conception because the doctor places the sperm high up in the uterus to practically meet the egg. Cool stuff! If you’re not much of a Fertile Myrtle an HCG Trigger Shot and/or Clomid can cost $50-$150 if your insurance won’t cover them (since they are considered infertility aids most insurances have guidelines for covering them). Your insemination appointment can range from $200-$500. All of this for just one round of insemination. I hope I conceive the first, definitely second time.

So where am I now? A few days ago I went to have some lab work done and my doctor (remembering how much I want a family and my plan for starting one) suggested that I see my Midwife for a “baseline work up”. Basically they can assess where I am health wise in reference to conception, give me tips for increasing my chances of conception and for preparing my body for pregnancy. She also gave me information about a group called Single Mothers by Choice. They provide tons of information and avenues for support via their website.

I know it’s a year away and some people think it’s too soon for me to be so excited. But when you’ve wanted something so bad for so long the journey to get there remains a constant source of motivation. At least for me it has been…