Cheating. Let
me start by saying that I in no way, shape, or form have ever cheated on anyone
I have been in a relationship with, nor do I condone cheating, I don’t accept
it in my relationships and I will end my relationship with a Cheater – no if’s,
and’s, or but’s about it! OVER!
During brunch with Mrs. Right, one of
my good friends got the confirmation she had been seeking that her girlfriend
of 2.5 years was cheating on her. It really hit home with me because I know
exactly how she’s feeling, the exact thoughts that are going through her mind,
and I know it will take her a long time to fully trust women again. Been there,
done that.
Before anyone
gets into a monogamous relationship, I suggest that they have a talk with their
partner about cheating – have they ever cheated during a relationship and what
do they consider cheating – which reminds me I should have that talk with Mrs. Right ASAP! The definition of
cheating varies from person to person. Some say physical intimacy is what
defines cheating, some believe in emotional cheating where you are emotionally
invested in someone other than your partner, some go as far to say that
thinking about having sex with a person other than your partner is cheating.
To me,
cheating is any form of physical or emotional intimacy vested in another love
interest (whether it be a mutual interest
or one sided) outside of your relationship. One thing I have learned is to
watch behaviors and listen very carefully, and if nothing else GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING. If a
conversation doesn’t sound right, all of a sudden destinations get changed, new
friends that can’t seem to meet you but your partner is always with them or
your partner stops giving you information or checking in like they used to and
you get a feeling (no matter how hard
they try to convince you otherwise) that something is up. It is!
Communication
is the easiest, yet the hardest thing for two people to do, but it is essential
to any relationship. I don’t understand how hard it is for someone to be an
adult, admit that they are no longer feeling their partner and their
relationship and move on without the added messiness and drama that cheating
brings. I guess some folks just like to have their cake and eat it too.
Not with this
woman…
Do you believe in the saying once a cheater always a cheater? What if your lady says she has cheated on her relationship in the past. How will you take it? I say once a cheater always one. This is a good post. Can't stand a cheater girl
ReplyDeleteHi DC Lover,
DeleteThanks for checking out my post and for your comment. When I was younger (wow can't believe I'm using that statement!) I used to think that if someone cheated in their past relationships then they would always be a cheater. However I have learned that people are different and to individualize my statements and thinking regarding them. For instance, I have an ex who, once she put a ring on my finger, decided to invoke her inner Shane and ran around with women left and right until I decided enough was more than enough and we went our separate ways. Despite me being a good partner she still wanted to run around and act like she was single. Fast forward to today and she is in a monogamous relationship with a woman she intends to marry soon, she has adopted a child, and she's settled/calmed down. Was I the first woman she cheated on? No. Was I the last? No. But something clicked inside her that made her change her ways. Do I think she'll cheat again? Doubt it.
As for Mrs. Right, we have talked about cheat. Yes it's occurred in her past. Does she condone it? No. Does she think it's right? No. Am I worried that she'll cheat on me? No. I don't give her a reason to look elsewhere. I do my best to make and keep her happy and she does the same for me. One thing I have said to her is that if she ever has the desire to see or be with anyone else that she lets me know so we can dissolve our relationship before she acts upon it. You can't make a grown woman stay with you if she has her eyes and heart elsewhere. Right now I am 100% sure that Mrs. Right is happy and fully committed to our relationship and our future.
Communication is the key!