Every time I go in for my annual pap smear or follow up appointment and the nurse or doctor begins to review my sexual history this song starts to play in my head. Why? Let’s review:
“Are you on birth control?”
“No.”
“Are you using condoms?”
“No.”
“Are you trying to get pregnant?”
“No.”
“Well you are setting yourself up for pregnancy by not taking precautions.”
“I’m not going to get pregnant.”
“What has lead you to believe this?”
“Because I don’t have sex with men.”
“Ever?”
“Never!”
Or my other favorite:
“I need you to pee in this cup.”
“Why?”
“We need to run a pregnancy test.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“We need to be sure.”
“I am sure. I’m not pregnant.”
“And how can you be sure.”
“Because I’m a Lesbian. My partners aren’t that damn good.”
Women have been getting annual exams for centuries and I am quite sure there was a group of undisclosed Lesbians in there as well. My concern is that in the year 2011, it seems like gynecologist are still stumped about what to do with a Lesbian patient. Like my whooha is somehow in a special category for those that have never had a sperm toting penis shoved up it. “My lovers 8 inch strap on does me just fine. Thank you.” (in my stuck up JAP voice). I have all the same reproductive parts as the hetro-breeder in the exam room next to me, and I am sure I am at risk for about 90% of the same reproductive issues that effect women, regardless of sexual orientation, that she is too. So why the dumbfoundedness just because my lovers name is a feminine pronoun? Or the “I’m not sure what to do with this” blank stare because I have no need to prescribe to the conventional methods of birth control when I am already using the most effective method on the planet - LESBIANISM. My whooha deserves the same reproductive care as the next woman. The only difference is mines is prettier!
“Did you guess which thing was not like the others? Did you guess which thing just doesn’t belong?”
Annalise,
ReplyDeleteI love your first post and I must say that the same thing happens to me when I go in. When I move I think I am going to find a lesbian knowledgable GYN not because my parts are different, but because the same line of questioning does not apply to me. Also, it would help for them not to run unneeded/unwanted pregnancy tests when the obvious result is going to be....not pregnant. I have been to some doctors and when you say your a lesbian they give you this dumb look.....like.....huh....ok. Like I am some pink eagle or something that they have never seen before.
I feel your struggle.....
I have to admit, I have a wonderful, understanding GYN now - maybe it's because I'm seeing a Midwife and they are always more personable than a MD - but before I found her I had GYN horror experiences that made me not want to ever go back to a GYN again! Lesbians are an anomaly, the Pink Elephant in the room. It's like if they can't write a script for birth control or schedule your delivery date they have no idea what to do with you. I think finding a GYN who is knowledgeable/sensitive to Lesbian women or a Lesbian GYN.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a good idea....a midwife....I certainly need to do that and I think you are right. I feel that if they can not fix a "problem" then they are kinda bored or as you said don't know what to do with you. Very sad.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt was the one who suggested I see a midwife for GYN care because I got tired of feeling like some MD's science experiment. Laniece (my Midwife/GYN) is very personable, she calls me personally and speaks to me like a real person. My office visits never feel rushed and I am never brushed off on some medical assistant. When it comes time to get pregnant/child birth I will only seek the assistnace of a Midwife.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel about a midwife. I personally only want to go to the hospital when I am ill not when I am pregnant. I feel as if healthcare has made women feel like childbirth is a VERY dangerous life threatening event where you MUST be admitted into a hospital for. Total BS. I am not against hospitals, but I do wish that ALL women were more knowledgable about their bodies and childbirth.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen "The Business of Being Born"? I love that movie because it shows how hospitals use unecessary methods that are actually more harmful to the mother and child than helpful i.e. Pitocin to speed up labor, C-Sections because the doctor wants to make to a 6PM dinner party. In the hospital, pregnancy is treated like it's a disease rather than something as natural as breathing. Women have been giving birth for centuries on their own, just because the technology is there doesn't mean it's best. When/if I give birth I will do so with a Midwife at a Birthing Center or in my own home.
ReplyDeleteOMG....Love that documentary. I remember my grandmother telling me a story about her being in labor(forgot which child) she pleaded the male doctor to let her stand up or squat because she knew the baby would come right out. He told her no....her labor was more painful and longer. Women need to listen to their bodies more. Its not foreign or abnormal. Gravity helps soooo much. There is this documentary that I forgot the name of if it but its talks about having a pleasurable child birth like having a type of orgasm. It was on netflix. I gotta look and see what the title was.
ReplyDeleteI want to be at home in my own warm tub.