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| Wouldn't You Expect More Than This From Another Woman? |
I’m a college educated woman, I don’t subscribe to the hood
mentality, I carry myself with dignity, self-respect, and my mannerisms are on
point. I find composing an email message in text lingo/jargon to be completely
juvenile and I’m not a fan of small talk. So asking me mindless questions along
the lines of “How’s the weather where you are?” – when you can clearly use Google and tell me in about two minutes – are
going to be met with blank stares, or me asking the ultimate question – “What
do you really want from me?!?”
I’m a female who is also a Feminine Lesbian who is a diehard
fan of her fellow Feminine Lesbians. I get hit on/approached by Men daily and I
do not like it, so when another Woman approaches me in the same manner in which
those Men have – thuggish street slang, or via email messages composed in text
lingo/jargon – I’m ready to run for the hills. So for the love of God, please
STOP APPROACHING WOMEN WITH THAT SAME HOOD MENTALITY OR TEXT JARGON COMMONLY
USED BY A MAN!!!!!
What do you think? Are you annoyed by this? Or do you
welcome this kind of behavior/mentality?
…On another note, I had a wonderful birthday on Wednesday.
Turning 28 has opened more doors in my mind, heart, and spirit…
Happy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteI don't really get approached by women that often but I find being approached by ANYONE that uses sexually suggestive language and/or focuses on things like my breasts, butt, etc. to be a complete turn off.
Most of the time I don't even respond.
I'm pretty upfront when I approach a woman (on the rare occasions I do). I say I think she's beautiful/gorgeous/etc. and probably compliment her on her outfit (I'm attracted to a woman with style) and then say I'd like to get to know her better. I don't even mean it in a sexual way but I'd like to find out her thoughts. If we don't connect mentally, it's pretty much over.
Thank you Doll!
DeleteWhen feminine women approach me (or me them) it's usually a wonderful exchange of compliments about the outfit, the shoes, the accessory, something girly and fun and like with you, conversation flows (or doesn't which we know means that we wont click) and either we've gained a new date or a new friend.
But when Butch/Stud identified women approach me it's like I'm in a sports bar or I'm walking past a group of guys hanging out on the corner. They're so busy trying to "kick game" that they don't realize how much of a turn off it is to be approached by a woman that way, especially when you can't stand it from a man. And if it's not on the streets its via email. I actually asked one woman - Do women really respond to this kind of stuff?
As a self-proclaimed Banana Republic/Black Ellen DeGeneres attired, juvenile loc wearing sistah who is over 40 and in Atlanta---i think this is a subject matter that warrants dialogue and discussion.
ReplyDeleteLesbian in the City, i just found your blog today from OurSistaCircle but wish i had found it earlier...
Back to the subject---there is no question that self-identified Butch/Stud women are often conditioned by male albeit stereotypes and they tend to react accordingly. Believe it or not there are some women who not only respond to it but they prefer it. I am personally intrigued by the fem on fem social introduction phenomenon. I would think in a setting where there is an expectation that most of the women are lesbian that people would be socially comfortable enough to be themselves. Butch or stud women are more than likely being true to themselves and their identities....for women like you and even me for that matter--we would prefer their honest selves not be so wrapped up in their role identity. I would encourage you to be gentle with your refusal, I believe they are being their true selves---and it just doesn't appeal to YOU.
What I found on the other side is because i have this soft butch or what I call natural black woman trapped in a Gap ad---that some fem lesbians expect me to be far more stud or butch than I will EVER be....I am a turn off to them.
So I am hoping for the woman who knows who she is and appreciates who I am, so we can get to know one another from this very honest place of who we really are.
MY apologies for the length.
I hear ya in the ATL
Thank you so much for reading my blog, and please do not appologize for the length of your response - I welcome all comments no matter how detailed or concise.
DeleteOne thing is for certain - someone is obviously responding to this kind of behavior because it's alive and well within the community. I always believe in giving a person respect and if I'm not interested I politely let them know and keep it moving. But now I don't even respond. After a certain age I would hope that one would stop using juvenile language and tactics to show a romantic interest...