Single & Fabulous

Mar 4, 2014

Let's Talk About Sex



Have you ever looked at someone you used to date and think – “What the f*ck was I thinking?!? Was I drunk (or high) the entire time?!?” A few days ago a friend brought a recent picture of a woman I dated to my attention and all I could think was how unattractive she looks and if she was this unattractive when I dated her. Oh well…


I know I promised to update you on my dating and relating life (and I will, next post) but this is more important at the moment. It’s life changing and could save a life by halting some dangerous behaviors. I work in the Emergency Department of a hospital as a Nurse Extern so I come in contact with a lot of young folks who need guidance and education. One particular patient was a “frequent flyer” for STD treatment. She was a beautiful young woman, about to get out of high school, and according to her so in love with her boyfriend. After noticing how many times she’s been treated in the ED I decided to do some patient education and see why this keeps occurring. Now for me, and most people, sex education is common knowledge and we know what’s out there, how you contract it, and how to avoid it. But since they stopped having sex education in majority schools in this country, a lot of youth today learn about sex via Google, YouTube and their promiscuous friends. Parents aren't talking to their kids like they should either.


I inquired about her sexual activity history and what (if any) forms of protection or contraception she was using. She informed me that she was on the pill and her and her boyfriend did not like to use condoms because “he doesn’t like the way it feels.” She also informed me that she has other sexual partners that her boyfriend does not know about and that’s where the recurrent infections are coming from. I explained to her that birth control is not effective for STD prevention/protection  and that she needs to talk to her boyfriend so that he can get tested and treated as well. Her reaction: “I love him and he don’t need to know about this. I got this under control…” …Two weeks ago our ED Physician diagnosed her with HIV. Not even 21…damn that, not even 18 and her life is almost over.

How many of you discuss STD status with your mate before your first sexual encounter? How many of you go get tested/cleared with your mate? How many of your practice safe sex for/during random encounters? 


There are some lesbians out there who believe we are immune to STDs. I don’t know where that notion came from but just like anyone else we need to protect ourselves. Condoms for strap ons, dental dam (or cling wrap) for oral sex, latex free gloves for digital penetration. In the heat of the moment emotions and hormones are running high but before you dive in have those important conversations. And always, always know your status and the status of your mate. Show them papers baby. 


Stay tuned for the dish on my current dating life…a juicy confession…and talk about swingers and adult playgrounds…

And don’t forget you can reach me via email at ContactLesbianInTheCity@gmail.com

 

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