Ex-Factor: "Can't Be Friends"?

Unless you are lucky enough to still be with the first woman you fell in love with, you have an Ex-Factor translation Ex-Girlfriend(s). Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, whether you fucked up or she fucked up, or you both fucked up, there always seems to be that lingering question when it all falls down: Can we be friends? For many the answer is Hell to the Naw (in your Whitney Houston voice) but others can actually have a full fledge friendship with their ex. Being friends with an ex is risky business, and here is why:

Last Time…Breakup Sex that Never Seems to End

Guilty, guilty, guilty! They say breakup sex is the best sex, but there is a reason why breakup sex is just that – BREAKUP SEX! Hooking up with your ex after things have ended can complicate things especially if one of you has started to date someone new. It can tie your emotions and feelings up and in some instances prevent you from moving on from the relationship. I’m guilty of going back for seconds, thirds, fourths, even fifths after things ended. One ex and I had breakup sex for three months after we officially split. It wasn’t something we planned, we just fell into it and after the first few times it just became a habit of convenience. Eventually we stopped but she still held onto feelings for me while I moved on from her.

I’m About to Catch A Case…New Chick on the Block

So your breakup wasn’t so bad, you two have actually managed to maintain a good working friendship. You hang out together, you talk at least two times per week, and you even attend events hosted by your mutual friends. Everything is going well, that is until your new MRS or her new MRS launches and all-out war against your ex. The jealous new chick on the block hates your friendship with your ex, she questions the validity of said friendship, and even demands that you stop being friends with your ex because of her own insecurities. She indirectly picks fights with your ex, and dismisses your ex as being a part of your life. After years of not speaking, K and I developed a friendship. We still had mutual friends but this time we actually spoke to one another when we were in the same room. K has always considered me to be the one that got away so when she started dating M I thought for sure that K would put all of her feelings and energy into making that relationship work. Regardless of what was going on between them, M had it out for me. She did not want me in K’s life and had this preconceived notion that I was her competition. One night we were all out at a lounge, dancing, drinking, laughing and just having a good time. I was standing by the bar with my friend Jenn when M walked by me, nudged me with her shoulder, and muttered “stuck up Bitch”.  Jenn and I looked at each other and decided to let it slide. M walks by us again, this time bumping into me, spilling her drink on me, and muttering “conceited Bitch”. At this point I had had enough. I walked over to K and said “Get your Bitch before I kick her ass from one end of this club to the next.”

We Just Can’t Be Friends…No If’s, And’s, But’s About It

So you busted the windows out her car, she pulled a Waiting to Exhale on all your shit, you sent the police to her home under the guise of distributing narcotics, she crank calls your cell and work number, you egged her house in the middle of the night. Whatever the situation, you two just can’t be friends. There are ex’s that no matter what, we just cannot get past what they have done to do us. They have committed an unforgiveable sin, the ultimate betrayal, and there is just no coming back from that. No amount of apologies, tears, or years can make you allow this person back into your life under any circumstances. It’s a dead and gone situation.

“Everything ain’t for everybody…” But for some ex’s, friendship is where it should have begun and ended.