Married Women: Forbidden Fruit or Fair Game?

Recently the topic of straight married women who are curious about Lesbianism has come up a lot. And when I say a lot I mean like deep conversations with those I am very close to and a random proposition from a married woman. We’ll discuss that one later.

I have always believed that sexuality is more fluid within in women than in men. I could be wrong, but I think over the course of a woman’s life she is more likely to “flow” from heterosexuality to bisexuality to homosexuality and possible back and forth again until she ultimately finds her true “flow”. Some of us are just born into our true “flow” but we are not the majority. And for this reason we have many married women who feel the need to explore a side of themselves that they felt they needed to keep hidden behind the guise of marriage and children.

Some would argue that married women are off limits, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I don’t believe in breaking up a happy home (God & Karma the ultimate conscious team), but if a woman approaches you and it’s clear that she is on her way out and just waiting for the paper work formalities to commence then I say why not entertain the idea. We all got our start somewhere. I know a few Lesbians who actually go after married women. They love the idea of conquering forbidden territory and walking away with a man’s wife and children. My friend “T” is one of those women. When she finds a woman she likes, wedding band or not, she is on it (and her) – literally and figuratively. She has broken up more marriages than Facebook. Her response: “These women [married women] are looking for one of two things: to explore their inner freak for the night, or for a gateway to the other team.” I think she’s just out to pop everyone’s lesbian cherry.

I met Laura at a friend’s pool party. We started talking because her then husband was being a dirty old man and hitting on me. I assured her she had nothing to worry about as I’m a lesbian and have no interest in him (or any other man for that matter). She didn’t seem to care, but was very intrigued. The more we talked the more I got to know about her desire to be with another woman. She said she got married because she was always told it was something she had to do, but she was never satisfied – sexually or emotionally – and therefore was ready for a divorce. We talked and got to know each better over the next few weeks. So the glorious weekend occurs. She calls me one Friday night and says she doesn’t want to be there when her husband returns from his business trip. I told her she could spend the night with me. One night turned into being laid up with her the entire weekend. Everything was going well – that is until her husband shows up on my door step Sunday morning looking for his wife!

One would think that incident has deterred me from engaging with another married woman, but it’s just the opposite. I don’t hunt them down, but I also don’t brush them off either. Like I said before we all got our start somewhere. And as always every situation is different.