"Fuck You! Pay Me!" - No Business; It's Personal

GOOD GIRLS go to Heaven;
BAD GIRLS go EVERYWHERE 

My loyal readers, I know that I have missed about two weeks (or more) worth of blog material but I assure you that’s not because I don’t have anything to blog about – trust me there will always be something for me to blog about. Truth is I haven’t had the urge to do much writing because I have been caught up in a lot of self-reflection, so I decided to but the business of blogging aside this once and just make this ultra-personal

Those of you who were a part of my life last year know that I went through a break up. Now that’s normal, people break up and I’ve had them before. But this particular break up forced a lot of change within me, forced me to look at things differently especially my views on certain things, and it even made me begin the journey of my dream career.

Since the age of 16 I have been in monogamous relationship after relationship. That’s who I am  - or was – the die-hard monogamist who swore she could never date more than one person at a time because “I can’t juggle, it’s just too much work to devote the amount of time an energy I put into a relationship to more than one person.” It’s funny how things change.

I was always the “Good Girl”, the ultra-supportive, loving, caring, MRS. Type. I desired it all – the house, the kids, the status. But I never got what I wanted or needed. In a way my previous situation was an awakening for me.

It’s like I was always standing on the edge of a cliff that was bound to fall anyway, but instead of waiting around for it to crumble I was pushed over the edge. Now the normal reaction to such a thing is to try to hold onto the edge and regain your place. But not for me. I have no desire to be rescued, no desire to return to that edge, no desire to hang on. I just want to continue to fall and be, and feel free. For the first time in my life I am going to be the “Bad Girl”. I’m going to date as many people I want when I want and how I want, I’m going to flirt unforgivingly with boys with girls with whomever because I love the attention, I’m going to put myself first always, and most importantly I am going to follow my dreams and build an awesome future for myself.

For the first time in my life I feel FREE. You never know how bound you are to a certain role in life, a certain way of thinking, or certain ideals until something forces you to abandon them. So I’m sure the question is will I play the “Bad Girl” role forever? I don’t know. Some call this a phase, but what if this is who I am supposed to be?

Everyone has a breaking point. Drop someone hard enough and eventually they crack.