I’ve been in plenty of weddings and been to more than I can remember. I think they are a beautiful thing yet a lot of work for just one day. But it’s just not for me.
My mentality has always been that I don’t need a piece of paper or a ring (although it is a beautiful show piece - Look ya’ll, my ring had a baby! Toni Childs Insider) to make me be faithful and committed to my partner for the rest of my life. A marriage license does not guarantee fidelity or shield you against other issues that could be the cause of demise in your relationship. Let’s face it, if someone is going to be unfaithful a piece of paper is not going to stop them nor is it going to prevent an inevitable break up.
Ceremonies: The more I attend them the more I am certain that they, like the initial proposal, should be a private affair. A lot of couples write their own vows, a personal love letter to their wife to be, and they are spoken before hundreds of witnesses. Some may think it’s romantic to express your love in front of family and friends, but I equate it to the love I’d express to her via a personal email, a card, or text message. I’m sure I would never share a sexting message with hundreds of family and friends, so it makes no sense to share something that’s just as intimate.
So what am I willing to do? Have a big kick ass party to celebrate finding the love of my life and committing ourselves to each other forever. Some will argue that’s what a wedding is all about. But there will be no marriage license to sign, no ordained BFF officiating a ceremony, reading of vows, gowns, or the exchanging of rings. Just us two and an intimate group of family and friends who we hope will help us celebrate our love for many years to come.
First of all....I love these pics you are attaching to your blog.
ReplyDeleteAnywho.....I totally agree with you about marriage even though I am married. Marriage has NOTHING to do with fidelity, honesty and commitment. I can count on my one hand the amount of successful marriages I have come in contact with and by successful I mean the two people in the relationship are healthy, happy and are supported by the other when it comes to their life dream.
Marriage means different things to different people and that's totally ok, however I think that everyone has the right to participate in this institution whether marrying the same sex or opposite.
The reason why Tri and I decided against a big ceremony was because we could not justify the cost of that one day verses what we could do with that money in the long run. Like you we eventually want to have a big party and invite people we care about.
You have no idea how much fun, yet sometimes frustrating it is to find great pictures for my blog post. But I am glad you like the pictures. I try to keep it unique.
ReplyDeleteI think weddings are a beautiful thing, and for those who want that piece of paper to legalize their committment (and to use the marriage tax incentives) I say go for it. With the amount of money it cost to have a wedding I'd rather use 3/4 of that amount and take a two week trip to Greece or Sicily.
I agree that people do get married for all the wrong reasons, and some have the wrong idea about marriage in general i.e. follow the status quo heterosexual model. I was watching Sex and the City 2 last night and Carrie touched on how when married, couples get to make up their own rules about their marriage. It ties into my saying that "a relationship only needs to make sense to two people; the two in it."
I'm sure I can be happy lesbian housewife (Memo to Self: Produce a reality series about Lesbian Housewives - now that would rock!) in a committed relationship complete with all the trappings and ornaments of a marriage without the big expensive wedding and a piece of paper which is meant to be the subliminal dictation of how to conduct myself.
Great post regarding your take on marriage or not. Let's have a big ole party and celebrate life...LOL. On a serious tip, for me, I it was imperative that I "legally" bind with the woman I love because of the protective clauses that do allow us the rights and privileges. Having kids and not having to jump through loops and making sure my wife is covered in my medical benefits are just a few of the things that concerned me. However, I do agree that "marriage" isn't some fairy tale with a cookie cutter route...it takes WORK everyday, alld ay! But the results can be amazing when two individuals work together as a team. Thanks for sharing your feelings...I love diversity. And yes, I am will to be a supporting actress in that series!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have my big mansion party one way or another. LOL! Those are very valid issues for going the legal marriage route. Unfortunately, same sex marriage is not legal nationwide and so I have always known that I/we would have to engage the services of an attorney for rights that heterosexual couples are afforded freely. It's sad that tax paying Americans are treated as second class citizens. Even though I do not wish to participate in the institution of marriage I will still stand up for and fight for the right of others to do so.
ReplyDeleteAs for the reality series, I want as many diverse couples as possible. Lesbian Housewives of Atlanta will rock this nation :)