La Familia: Dynamics In My Culturally/Social Class Mixed Family

I went to see “Jumping The Broom” about two weeks ago. It’s a great movie, even if the critics don’t think so, and I could actually relate to it as my Mother’s family are like the Watson’s and my Father’s family are like the Taylor’s. How was I raised? Like a Watson for majority of my life, then like a Taylor when I lived with my Father. But I still hold strong to core values from both social classes.

No doubt the movie got me thinking about my life in my own family being that I am openly Lesbian. My family is diverse in more ways than class. My Mother’s family is European and Jewish, my Father’s family is Hispanic and African-American with a religious mix of Catholicism and Baptism. So you can imagine some subtle confusion - There is no Jesus on Friday, but there is a Jesus on Sunday - but it wasn’t as bad as one may think. My Mother’s family was very high class. My Grandfather was one of the corporate attorneys for AT&T, my Grandmother taught Art at Marquette University so Country Clubs, shopping sprees in New York, and vacations overseas were not a foreign concept to them. My Father’s family worked in Healthcare or Contracting. He came from a family of 10 children so they were somewhere above the poverty level and on the lower totem pole of Middle Class. Blue Collar for sure.

Each lifestyle has it positives and draw backs. With my Mother I was exposed to a world of Country Clubs, frequent trips abroad due to invitations for her and my Step-Father to present research, frequent trips to Saks, Nordstrom’s, Bergdorf’s, and homes with pools, jacuzzis, and $100,000 pieces of art work. But I also was exposed to the reality that my Mother’s family is not close. They only see each other or communicate when there is a death or a wedding and even then it’s hard. With my Father’s family there are wonderful gatherings for just about every occasion, I have Aunts who are supportive and extremely helpful when it comes to my nursing studies, and I get to see my Grandparents whenever I want. But my Father’s family are not very worldly. They shun things that are unknown such as foods and new experiences, and they are just living to live instead of having dreams.

So how does me being openly Lesbian fit into all of this? Well, believe it or not, my Mother’s family is more accepting of me being a Lesbian. When I came out to them, although it wasn’t really coming out (I really hate that term, stay tuned for another blog post about it), they wanted to meet my partner, they wanted her to be apart of family functions and would even host family functions just to get to know her. My father’s family on the other hand threw Bible versus at me, and my own Grandmother insulted my partner in front of my face. My Father doesn’t even speak to me about my relationships let alone asks about my love life or my partners.

I have to be honest here, I expected it to be the other way around. I thought my Mother’s family would jump on their “We’re Levine’s and have an image to maintain" approach but surprisingly they have embraced me being openly Lesbian and support whatever decisions I make. Now I’m not saying that Mommy Dearest has liked every women I have dated. She’s still overprotective and neurotic (What do you expect? She’s Jewish!) but she respects me and acknowledges the fact that she will be gaining a daughter instead of losing one. My Father’s family still believes that this is a “phase” or I’m “still getting yourself together” as if this is some tranz to snap out of. I’m a Lesbian. Out. Proud. It is what it is. Get over yourselves.