Glamazon! My Makeup Bag



GLAMAZON
It's an art & way of life

I’m a Femme and I love, love, love, love, love being a Girl! It’ safe to say that makeup is a huge part of my life. Am I one of those women who won’t allow her Lover to see her without makeup on? No! Am I one of those women who can’t leave the house without a full face? No! I am a firm believer that if you’re going to be in a relationship with someone then she needs to know what you look like glammed up and totally stripped down – if you have no idea what your Lover looks like without makeup then exit stage right immediately!

My Complexion: I have the Mixed Chicks Dilemma – Gold/Yellow undertone with skin that’s a Butterscotch-Caramel mix in the Winter (MAC NC44), and a Caramel-Nutmeg mix in the Summers (MAC NC55).

Face: I have tried just about every drugstore and department store foundations and as much as I have strayed I have always come back to MAC’s Studio Fix Foundation. No other brand, including those specifically designed for women of color, has been able to give me the coverage I crave and match my complexion as MAC has done. The concealer I use is Maybelline’s Liquid Concealer in Café which I commonly find at Target. And to finish off my look I use Cover Girl’s TruBlend Minerals in 415. A little goes a long way with this powder, in fact I’ve had my current one for 4 months now.

Eyes: The eyes MUST POP whether it be a subtle neutral tone or a complete viva glam, the eyes MUST POP! Costal Scents Eye Shadow Palette’s are a GOD SEND. If you’re not already on the bandwagon I highly suggest you jump on it and fast. I have the 88 Shimmer Palettes and I am in love! For a Primer I use Coastal Scents Camo Quad. I’m not a fan of this concealer quad for my face but it’s perfection with my eye shadows. My eyeliner can vary but my daily use is a pencil from New York Color (NYC), and for a night out I use Almay’s Liquid Eyeliner in Smoke Gray. I’m not a fan of false lashes unless they are to be worn for a formal event or photo shoots so I give my lashes some illusion with NYC’s Show Time Mascara.

Lips: I’m not a lipstick kind of girl, never have been and probably never will be. I don’t like how it goes on and I don’t like how it feels. But when it comes to glosses I’m all over it. My daily staple is NYC’s Liquid Lipshine in Nude. I also own the same brand in about 4 other colors as well. They give my lips a sexy wet look and are very buildable. If I’m going for a glam look I’ll use an NYC lip liner pencil then build with the lip gloss.

That’s what’s in my makeup bag…what’s in yours? Got an interesting tip? SHARE!

Femme 4 Femme = Bisexual?!?



Femme Invisibility
IT'S REAL

Yes, you read that correctly. According to some members of the (Black) Lesbian community, mainly those who identify as Studs, a Feminine Lesbian who ONLY PREFERS Feminine Lesbians is a Bisexual. Hmmm…rejection issues, much?!? I think so.

If you didn’t know, or care to know, Femme Invisibility is ALIVE, WELL, & REAL! Femme Invisibility: Lesbian women who are Feminine get seen as straight—by Heterosexuals, other non-Femme identified Lesbians, and sometimes even by our fellow Femme Lesbians. Why? Because America and the Lesbian community conforms to Lesbian stereotype of either the Butch/Stud Lesbian or relationships that imitate the traditional Heterosexual relationship complete with specified Gender Roles. I can write an entire thesis on Femme Invisibility, but that’s not the topic of today’s discussion.

If I had a dollar for every time I was accused of being a Bisexual because of my preference for Feminine Lesbians I would have Nursing School paid for and still have funds leftover to plan the ultimate girls’ weekend in Vegas. I’m a Lesbian and have been since I was like 8 years old. I’ve never had a boyfriend, never dated men, and have no intentions of every doing so. So Studs, no I don’t care about your money, your cars, your clothes, your whores (…I suppose…I just wanna be successful…Love that Drake song). That never impresses me.

I have a type, just like the rest of the world, and SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE OR CAN BE MISTAKEN FOR A HE. She can be called a Femme, Sporty-Femme, or Femme with an Edge. She’s just as comfortable in jeans, sweats, and a t-shirt as she is in a business suit, cocktail dress, or formal gown. She can be an Alpha Female and take charge, or she can be the Beta Female and let me run the show. She can hit the hair salon and nail salon on a bi-weekly basis with me, and indulge a little or a lot at the MAC store. Her mannerisms are Feminine, yet she does not conform to Gender Roles so opening doors is not seen as a “man/stud thing” it’s a common courtesy thing (I still walk Old Ladies across the street). Cultured, Educated, & Sophisticated.

And for those who need Visual Aids, here are some pictures of women I consider to be My Type:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So stop the hatred and accusations. Every Femme is not looking for a Stud, and every Stud is not looking for a Femme. Find a woman who loves your type and run with it…

Status Change: How Soon Is Too Soon?

Can I get a AMEN?

When you really haven’t dated in a long time and you finally find someone you (think you) click with and could potentially build a relationship with you get super excited and the first thing you are tempted to do is showcase it on Facebook. How do you do so? By changing your relationship status of course!

The infamous Facebook Relationship Status Change. Over the past week I have seen about 20% of my Facebook Friends change their relationship status:

Case #1 – Person A and Person B have dated before, but Person B was more of a Shane type and therefore the demise of that relationship was born. Fast Forward to 2 weeks ago when Person A and Person B’s Facebook status read they have gone from Single to a Relationship with Person A/B…Fast Forward to last week’s status message for Person: Person A has gone from being In a Relationship to Single

Case #2 – Person C and Person D have been on again/off again forever. One month they’re engaged and happy, six months later they’re rocking out to Single Ladies, and a week later they’re back at it Engaged again. It’s an Engaged-Single cycle with them and I don’t know if it will ever end!

Case #3 – Person E changes their relationship status from Single to Married every time she has a first date with someone, only to change it back to Single a few days later when she decides the woman is no longer the one. My advice to Person E was to stop trying to Wife every chick they date and just get to know them.

I’m not one to change my Facebook status all willy nilly. When I was with my Ex I did not change my relationship status until we had sex and established that we were in a relationship. So I went from Single to being In a Relationship, but when she cheated and we split I went back to being Single. Now that I am putting myself back out there in terms of wanting to Date and hopefully form a relationship I’m very hesitant about ever changing my relationship status from Single unless it’s from Single to Married.

SN/Update: I made the decision to no longer see “Beautiful” (the first Black woman I ever dated). She’s still married to her Wife, and I know I deserve and can do better than a Married Woman…

My First Time Dating A Black Woman

I know I’ve been MIA for the past few weeks, but Nursing School is very demanding and very exhausting. I barely have time to check in on Facebook let alone sit down and compose a blog post. So please charge it to my head and not to my heart…I think that’s how that saying my Grandmother always used goes…

We all have our First experiences in life – our first time, first love, coming out, first kiss – some more rightfully noted than the others, but I am having a first that for a Black Lesbian may be a little shocking – My First Time Dating a Black Woman. Yes, you read that correctly, this is my first time dating a fellow Black Woman. If you’ve been following my blog you’d know that all my past relationships have been with White Women. I’ve been on dates with Black Women but they never went beyond one date because (and I have mentioned this in my previous post) we just don’t click. I have nothing against Black Women, we just don’t click!

I met Beautiful via the Curve Magazine dating website (if you’re serious or curious about online dating check it out best selection of active Lesbian members) about a month ago. Her profile was very articulate, multiple pictures displaying her beauty, and we shared a lot of the same views on what makes a relationship work. Beautiful is 40 and a fellow Cancer. Conversation flowed naturally and the more I get to know her the more I see our thinking is aligned on the same track. We laugh, we joke around, we just enjoy spending time with each other. She puts a huge smile on my face every time we speak, I receive text messages, or when I brag about her to friends.

When considering the long haul, I can definitely see myself going the distance with Beautiful. She’s cultured, educated, sophisticated the way I like them. She doesn’t subscribe to the Hood Mentality and keeps it classy always. Her mind intrigues me more than her body. I wasn’t specifically looking to become so involved with someone right now, but I’ve always been told that when you stop looking what you desire finds you. In the African-American Lesbian community, beautifully intelligent cultured women are a rare find. I’ve definitely found a diamond.  Let’s hope this continues to go well…

DILEMMA: Being Chased by a Cougar, But Crushing on a Straight Woman #WhereTheyDoThat@?

The Cougar vs. The Straight Woman

I swear all of this just came out of nowhere! Like what the motherf*ck?!? Overnight something happened somewhere, somehow and I’m still in awe over it all. So I’ve been talking to The Cougar for a bit now – casual email, text banter back and forth several times a day, shameless flirting here and there – she’s hella sexy, in her mid-40’s, educated, sophisticated, accomplished, and for those of you who this matters for, she’s White. She was very forward during our first conversation, insisting that I take her number and “call or text me anytime, beautiful.” For those of you who don’t know, I LOVE COUGARS! There’s just something about a woman in that 35-45 age range that peaks my interest and drives me wild (in a VERY VERY VERY good way, check out my post entitled Ode to Cougars). When (if) I ever settle down, don’t be too surprised to hear that my Mrs. is somewhere within that age range.

Somewhere in the mix of my ever so willing chase with The Cougar, The Straight Woman (and let me clarify that I am not 100% sure she is Straight, she could be Bisexual or some other orientation) and I began to form a friendship. We share a common interest and it provides us ample opportunities to engage with one another. I honestly never looked at her the way I do now until we had a conversation over another common interest we share. The Straight Woman is hella sexy, possibly my age, educated, sophisticated, accomplished in her own way, and for those of you who this matters for, she’s Black. Now I can admit that I have developed feelings for The Straight Woman and based on the conversations she has initiated (topics, etc) something about me intrigues her too. I haven’t asked her about her orientation, and truthfully I’m not sure I know how to do so.

This has never happened to me before, I used to be a serial monogamist and when I was interested in one woman she was my focus. I never dated or entertained more than one woman at a time, but my oh my have the tables turned. I love being chased by The Cougar, she’s very charismatic in her approach but realistically I don’t think I can speak or act on my feelings for The Straight Woman. I’ve never been one to pursue a woman who was not already a Lesbian and part of me doesn’t want the proverbial headache that comes along with acclimating someone to a Lesbian relationship, but then another part of me thinks being open to turning a woman who is straddling the proverbial fence out because hey we all gotta learn from someone, right?

The last thing I want is to get caught up in a Trey Songz "Last Time" situation...Now that is a true Dilemma...

The Bisexual Game, Part Deux: Open Letter From Me to You

I never thought I would have to go there with you, because so many have gone there with you and one would think you would have gotten it by now, but alas as usual words of wisdom, caution, and advice have fallen on deaf ears.

I’m not a fan of beating around the bush, so let’s get down to it, shall we? I know you’re stuck between a rock and hard place – the breeders (heterosexuals) don’t accept you, and the Lesbians won’t date you – and I can shed some light as to why you are constantly rejected by Lesbians. First, you all have this fucked up sense/view of women in general. A woman is NOT a pair of shoes at DSW - something you just “try out” or “experiment” with. Many of you complain of this sort of treatment from a Man, so why turn around and treat a fellow Woman with the same disrespect?

If I hear one more of you say that sex between women is “not real sex” I am personally going to see that the Smack a Stupid Bitch Up committee pays you a visit. Nothing devalues the love, intimacy, and emotional vulnerability of the mental and physical connection formed via sex between women, more than stating that it isn’t real. And you’re still wondering why Lesbians won’t date you?!? Do realize how stupid you sound?!?

I don’t know where many Bisexuals got this idea, but just because the technical definition of a Lesbian is a Woman who loves to engage in sexual and emotional relationships with other Women, doesn’t mean that a Lesbian has to date you. And it doesn’t mean you have to date a Lesbian. You can date a fellow Bisexual. Although most of you have said you don’t want to date a Bisexual for the same precise reasons a Lesbian will not date a Bisexual. Go Figure!

And lastly, my personal favorite, quoting the Bible. What the fuck are you thinking?!?  That’s all I have to say on that one…

Now clearly this open letter isn’t for all Bisexuals because some of you (and I do mean some, like 10%) know how to act and that’s the subset that most Lesbians, if they are going to get involved with a Bisexual, are willing to consider dating. But the rest of you have a lot to learn. Lesbianism is not some fad, not some switch we can flick and turn off and on, it’s LIFE. We are Women who require the same love, attention, affection, kindness, caring, and respect just as any other Woman gracing this earth. Our love for one another is significant and should NEVER be regarded as some social experiment, and should ALWAYS be taken seriously.

The next time you think about approaching a Lesbian, put yourself in her shoes, and by all means be careful what you say…

Check out The Bisexual Game Part One

Sorry, I Am NOT a Statistic

I’m doing the dating thing here and there, have yet to come across anyone worth my free time -what little free time I do have these days…Memo to Self: Next time you want to change careers have as much fun as possible before hand – but one question or statement seems to be common from women I’ve corresponded with, or random people I have encountered for one reason or another:

How many kids do you have? Ummmm. I don’t have any children.

 I mean don’t get me wrong. I love (GOOD) kids and will be conceiving one via donor in the future. But the question was not DO YOU have kids, it was HOW MANY kids do you have. Why the assumption?!? Me being the inquisitive woman I am began to ask my inquirers:

 What makes you think I have children?

 The common theme of the numerous answers I have received:

 “Most Black women in your age group, and who also identify as Lesbian usually have 2 or more children from a previous heterosexual relationship…”

I had to think about that, but I have to admit IT’S TRUE! Even a fellow Blogger DIARY OF A BLACK LESBIAN has touched on the subject via one of her post. Now before some of you get your panties in a knot, I’m not knocking those who have children via a heterosexual relationship. BUT the fact is a lot of African-American Lesbian do fall into that group.

I am not a statistic and I am proud not to be. Women were my first love and will always be my only love. So now when I’m confronted with the How Many Kiddies questions I just simply laugh. Will I date a woman with a child(ren)? It really depends on the woman, and the situation. In the past I have, but it did not last long or go far.

Does it annoy you when people assume that you have kids?

Have you ever dated a woman with kids? Would you ever do it again?

Act Like A Lady, Stop Approaching Me Like A Man!!!!!

Wouldn't You Expect More Than This
From Another Woman?

Ugh!!!!!!! I have officially reached my breaking point with this shit! I can’t with the Butch/Stud identified members of the Lesbian community anymore. Since when did approaching a woman with street slang and sexually suggestive commentary in the same manner in which a Heterosexual male would approach a female become acceptable?!? It’s disgusting, a HUGE TURN OFF, and IT HAS TO STOP NOW!

I’m a college educated woman, I don’t subscribe to the hood mentality, I carry myself with dignity, self-respect, and my mannerisms are on point. I find composing an email message in text lingo/jargon to be completely juvenile and I’m not a fan of small talk. So asking me mindless questions along the lines of “How’s the weather where you are?” – when you can clearly use Google and tell me in about two minutes – are going to be met with blank stares, or me asking the ultimate question – “What do you really want from me?!?”

I’m a female who is also a Feminine Lesbian who is a diehard fan of her fellow Feminine Lesbians. I get hit on/approached by Men daily and I do not like it, so when another Woman approaches me in the same manner in which those Men have – thuggish street slang, or via email messages composed in text lingo/jargon – I’m ready to run for the hills. So for the love of God, please STOP APPROACHING WOMEN WITH THAT SAME HOOD MENTALITY OR TEXT JARGON COMMONLY USED BY A MAN!!!!!

What do you think? Are you annoyed by this? Or do you welcome this kind of behavior/mentality?

…On another note, I had a wonderful birthday on Wednesday. Turning 28 has opened more doors in my mind, heart, and spirit…

I Surrender!: Bye Bye Extensions, Hello Natural Hair

After 8 years (yes it’s been that long) of exclusively wearing extensions, on Monday I decided to push up my Surrender Day from the 31^st and I took them out. During my last appointment with my Stylist (Special Shout Out to Tracy of Tresses byTracy – if you are looking for someone who specializes in all forms of extensions, and you want it to last 2+ months please book an appointment with her. Professional, not wait time or salon bullshit. She’s worth it!) back in May she suggested that I stop getting extensions done and start rocking my natural hair. Why? Because my natural hair was now 2 inches shorter than my extensions. I have to admit I was hesitant, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the freedom I had acquired with rocking extensions – i.e. fry, dye, curl, straighten all day, every day with no damage or effects to your natural hair. But deep inside I knew it was time.

My natural hair is very wavy/curly and thick. I recently learned that I have a 3B/3C combo curl pattern (Huh?!? What?!? All I know is this stuff is Curly-Wavy OOC). Back in the day I used to get the Hot Comb treatment then graduated to a relaxer at 15. Like most teenage girls, I wanted to blend in with the rest of the girls at school but see my hair never really got super straight like the others. A relaxer really did nothing for my hair texture if anything it just made my edges lay down better. Out of frustration and being at a lost as to what to do with my hair I began to get sew-ins when I was in college and I have not really seen or rocked my natural hair since then.

I did a lot of research into Dominican Blow Outs (I used to get them done back in the day as well) and spoke with lots of women who abandoned the Creamy Crack in favor of natural techniques. Now I’ve heard all the scare tactics that many have tried to use to scare others away from Blow Outs, and how many Black stylists believe that the Dominicans are stealing their business (I’ll touch on this sore spot in a minute) but I still went to have my blow out completed. I was referred to Luisa of Luisianys Dominican Beauty Salon located on 5600 W. Berks Street in Philadelphia. From the moment I walked in until I left the experience was AWESOME!

1. Professionalism/Personable: When I walked in the door Luisa herself greeted me with a smile, she introduced me to the young woman who would Shampoo and Deep Condition my hair. She also re-confirmed what I had spoken with her about on the phone regarding my hair and my expectations. I can honestly say that I have NEVER been greeted with such professionalism and personal attention at a Black salon. Most of the time the Receptionist (if there is one) or the Stylist is usually too busy eating, talking on their cell phone, or gossiping to greet a Client when they come through the door. Treat your Client’s like VIP always!

2. Cleanliness and Good Equipment/Decor: The salon was clean and organized and there were 2 other Stylist and about 8 Clients there. There was not food or drink or clutter all over the counters, the floors were free of hair and other debris, and the chairs, mirrors and stations were wiped down in between Clients. The Stylist even washed their hands when they began to service the next Client. The furniture and equipment were clean and free of rips, tears or any kind of damage. The music was not blaring, there were no children running around, or any baby daddy/ghetto gossip conversations going on.

3. Time and Cost: I remember times when I would spend 8 hours (yes a whole f*cking workday that I was not getting paid for) in a Black salon for a style that would only take 2 hours. Why? Because the Stylist triple booked, was bullshiting around , or she was taking 30 minute breaks to eat, have personal conversations on her cell phone, etc. Only to spend $60+ when it’s all said and done. When I walked into Luisianys salon I was in and out in 2 hours! Shampoo, Deep Condition, Blow Out, Curl – 2 Hours and only $35 plus Tip. And Luisa uses great products for all aspects of the process (check out My DNA product line and Dominican Products on RoundBrush.com)

I’m really loving my hair and my plan is to continue to grow it and keep it healthy. I’m addicted to Flexi-Rods (dark green 1inch) and since I don’t like the idea of using heat daily to style my hair I have been rolling my hair with them nightly and just taking them out and rocking the soft curls. So far, so good. I’m still on the hunt for the best moisturizer product for my hair – looking into Shea Moisture, the Dominican Products on RoundBrush.com, and Carols Daughter (although their stuff is more expensive than it needs to be).

How many of you have surrendered the extensions or said bye bye to the Creamy Crack? Are you loving the transformation or finding it to be a challenge? Have you received positive or negative feedback?

In my heart I know I made the right decision because it was time and I actually thought about the child I want to have someday. I’d love to have a daughter and I figured if I didn’t learn how to start dealing with my natural hair how am I going to do her hair and teach her how to care for it. As a mixed child I know all too well the battles she will endure just to love her natural hair.

Before
3B/3C Combo Hair After Extensions Taken out

After
3B/3C Combo Hair Post Blow Out

Black Lesbians Do Workout - My Journey to a Fit & Healthy Me

Last October I made the decision to get healthy. I don’t know if it was losing one of my Mother’s or the fact that I was finally getting closer to the one thing I had worked so hard for – Nursing, or that I was at yet another epiphany. The bottom line is I wanted to change. Healthy eating and lifestyles were never valued as much in the African-American community. I mean come on let’s face it, we’d fry water if they let us. Growing up in my father’s home I was surrounded by bad eating and lifestyle habits – chain smoking, fried foods, junk foods, sugary drinks, high salt processed foods, whole milk, etc. I had changed my eating habits back in high school, realizing that I did not want to end up with the same health problems they had and just because that shit – yes SHIT is what it is – was making me very sick. I think it was my body’s way of saying Hey B!tch, this ain’t going down how you think anymore.

Over the years I have been very consistent with my changes – no red meat, no pork, only poultry or fish, only skim milk – but I still indulged in the occasional bowl of Capt N’ Crunch or a Chicken Cheesesteak and Fries. After months of pondering I finally went online and signed up for a membership at my local Planet Fitness. I met with the Trainer and we spoke about Nutrition which I already knew about because at the time  I was taking a required Diet & Nutrition course for Nursing school so I pretty much knew what I had to do. But one thing she did enlighten me about was that in order to lose weight you must do more strength training than you do cardio – I, like most people, thought it was all about the cardio.

I changed my diet – more fruits, more veggies, more broiled/grilled/bakes fish or meat, more healthy adult cereals (Special K, Honey Bunches of Oats, and Chex) – and began to work out 5 days per week at Planet Fitness. Initially, the weight was coming off the way I wanted it to and I was toning at the same time which was great because people were really starting to notice. All was going well until I plateaued. I even switched my routine at the gym but nothing seemed to work. I got discouraged, even considered cutting more calories but all it did was make me nauseous.

Fast Forward to March 2012. My friends and I decided to have not one but two Pole Parties at a local studio. Now for those of you who have been following me for a while you remember my post about Pole Dancing so you know how much I love and admire the art form and those who use it to support themselves. My friends and I had so much fun at our Pole Party that I got back into taking Pole Dance classes. Little did I know that would be the turning point in my being fit and healthy journey.

A Sensual You Pole Dance and Fitness Studio is who I owe many thanks to. I cancelled my Planet Fitness membership and have been exclusively taking classes with my wonderful, knowledgeable instructor Barbara. It’s not all about the Pole, although that’s what initially draws you there. I take classes 5 days per week which include Pole, Kickboxing, Cardio, Ballet, Yoga, Climb and Core, Stiletto Fit (working out in heels!) and Twerk (yes there is a class to show you how to move like the Twerk Team but don’t be fooled it’s a lot of hard cardio work). My upper body strength is amazing!

Thus far, since my journey began in October 2011 I have lost 35lbs. Some people may not think it’s a lot but I prefer to take the weight off gradually instead of using starvation techniques that only make you gain double the weight once you eat a calorie more than you used to. I love the way I look, I love how I feel, and I am sticking to my current diet and fitness routine.

Here are some helpful tips/info that helped me along my journey:

(a) 50% is Nutrition, 40% Strength Training, 10% Cardio

(b) My Fitness Pal – iPod/Smartphone app that will help you keep track of your calories and your fitness profile. I have been using this since day one of my journey and it is so helpful with keeping track of nutrients. It will let you know when you have over consumed on nutrients such as sodium, cholesterol, fats, etc. Very helpful and highly recommended

(c) Fun classes versus the Gym – I find that if I take a fitness class that is more fun and doesn’t seem like a workout routine I go more consistently and I actually look forward to being there, whereas at the gym you know you are at the gym and there is only so much pleasure one can get out of going from machine to machine

(d) Multi-Vitamin – I’m the first to admit that I am not a fan of taking a pill everyday but have found that taking a multivitamin especially when I work out as much as I do really helps

(e) NEVER GIVE UP. There will be days you don’t feel like working out or days where you feel like nothing is happening fast enough. Just stick with it and I promise you this journey will pay off