Act Like A Lady, Stop Approaching Me Like A Man!!!!!

Wouldn't You Expect More Than This
From Another Woman?

Ugh!!!!!!! I have officially reached my breaking point with this shit! I can’t with the Butch/Stud identified members of the Lesbian community anymore. Since when did approaching a woman with street slang and sexually suggestive commentary in the same manner in which a Heterosexual male would approach a female become acceptable?!? It’s disgusting, a HUGE TURN OFF, and IT HAS TO STOP NOW!

I’m a college educated woman, I don’t subscribe to the hood mentality, I carry myself with dignity, self-respect, and my mannerisms are on point. I find composing an email message in text lingo/jargon to be completely juvenile and I’m not a fan of small talk. So asking me mindless questions along the lines of “How’s the weather where you are?” – when you can clearly use Google and tell me in about two minutes – are going to be met with blank stares, or me asking the ultimate question – “What do you really want from me?!?”

I’m a female who is also a Feminine Lesbian who is a diehard fan of her fellow Feminine Lesbians. I get hit on/approached by Men daily and I do not like it, so when another Woman approaches me in the same manner in which those Men have – thuggish street slang, or via email messages composed in text lingo/jargon – I’m ready to run for the hills. So for the love of God, please STOP APPROACHING WOMEN WITH THAT SAME HOOD MENTALITY OR TEXT JARGON COMMONLY USED BY A MAN!!!!!

What do you think? Are you annoyed by this? Or do you welcome this kind of behavior/mentality?

…On another note, I had a wonderful birthday on Wednesday. Turning 28 has opened more doors in my mind, heart, and spirit…

I Surrender!: Bye Bye Extensions, Hello Natural Hair

After 8 years (yes it’s been that long) of exclusively wearing extensions, on Monday I decided to push up my Surrender Day from the 31^st and I took them out. During my last appointment with my Stylist (Special Shout Out to Tracy of Tresses byTracy – if you are looking for someone who specializes in all forms of extensions, and you want it to last 2+ months please book an appointment with her. Professional, not wait time or salon bullshit. She’s worth it!) back in May she suggested that I stop getting extensions done and start rocking my natural hair. Why? Because my natural hair was now 2 inches shorter than my extensions. I have to admit I was hesitant, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the freedom I had acquired with rocking extensions – i.e. fry, dye, curl, straighten all day, every day with no damage or effects to your natural hair. But deep inside I knew it was time.

My natural hair is very wavy/curly and thick. I recently learned that I have a 3B/3C combo curl pattern (Huh?!? What?!? All I know is this stuff is Curly-Wavy OOC). Back in the day I used to get the Hot Comb treatment then graduated to a relaxer at 15. Like most teenage girls, I wanted to blend in with the rest of the girls at school but see my hair never really got super straight like the others. A relaxer really did nothing for my hair texture if anything it just made my edges lay down better. Out of frustration and being at a lost as to what to do with my hair I began to get sew-ins when I was in college and I have not really seen or rocked my natural hair since then.

I did a lot of research into Dominican Blow Outs (I used to get them done back in the day as well) and spoke with lots of women who abandoned the Creamy Crack in favor of natural techniques. Now I’ve heard all the scare tactics that many have tried to use to scare others away from Blow Outs, and how many Black stylists believe that the Dominicans are stealing their business (I’ll touch on this sore spot in a minute) but I still went to have my blow out completed. I was referred to Luisa of Luisianys Dominican Beauty Salon located on 5600 W. Berks Street in Philadelphia. From the moment I walked in until I left the experience was AWESOME!

1. Professionalism/Personable: When I walked in the door Luisa herself greeted me with a smile, she introduced me to the young woman who would Shampoo and Deep Condition my hair. She also re-confirmed what I had spoken with her about on the phone regarding my hair and my expectations. I can honestly say that I have NEVER been greeted with such professionalism and personal attention at a Black salon. Most of the time the Receptionist (if there is one) or the Stylist is usually too busy eating, talking on their cell phone, or gossiping to greet a Client when they come through the door. Treat your Client’s like VIP always!

2. Cleanliness and Good Equipment/Decor: The salon was clean and organized and there were 2 other Stylist and about 8 Clients there. There was not food or drink or clutter all over the counters, the floors were free of hair and other debris, and the chairs, mirrors and stations were wiped down in between Clients. The Stylist even washed their hands when they began to service the next Client. The furniture and equipment were clean and free of rips, tears or any kind of damage. The music was not blaring, there were no children running around, or any baby daddy/ghetto gossip conversations going on.

3. Time and Cost: I remember times when I would spend 8 hours (yes a whole f*cking workday that I was not getting paid for) in a Black salon for a style that would only take 2 hours. Why? Because the Stylist triple booked, was bullshiting around , or she was taking 30 minute breaks to eat, have personal conversations on her cell phone, etc. Only to spend $60+ when it’s all said and done. When I walked into Luisianys salon I was in and out in 2 hours! Shampoo, Deep Condition, Blow Out, Curl – 2 Hours and only $35 plus Tip. And Luisa uses great products for all aspects of the process (check out My DNA product line and Dominican Products on RoundBrush.com)

I’m really loving my hair and my plan is to continue to grow it and keep it healthy. I’m addicted to Flexi-Rods (dark green 1inch) and since I don’t like the idea of using heat daily to style my hair I have been rolling my hair with them nightly and just taking them out and rocking the soft curls. So far, so good. I’m still on the hunt for the best moisturizer product for my hair – looking into Shea Moisture, the Dominican Products on RoundBrush.com, and Carols Daughter (although their stuff is more expensive than it needs to be).

How many of you have surrendered the extensions or said bye bye to the Creamy Crack? Are you loving the transformation or finding it to be a challenge? Have you received positive or negative feedback?

In my heart I know I made the right decision because it was time and I actually thought about the child I want to have someday. I’d love to have a daughter and I figured if I didn’t learn how to start dealing with my natural hair how am I going to do her hair and teach her how to care for it. As a mixed child I know all too well the battles she will endure just to love her natural hair.

Before
3B/3C Combo Hair After Extensions Taken out

After
3B/3C Combo Hair Post Blow Out

Black Lesbians Do Workout - My Journey to a Fit & Healthy Me

Last October I made the decision to get healthy. I don’t know if it was losing one of my Mother’s or the fact that I was finally getting closer to the one thing I had worked so hard for – Nursing, or that I was at yet another epiphany. The bottom line is I wanted to change. Healthy eating and lifestyles were never valued as much in the African-American community. I mean come on let’s face it, we’d fry water if they let us. Growing up in my father’s home I was surrounded by bad eating and lifestyle habits – chain smoking, fried foods, junk foods, sugary drinks, high salt processed foods, whole milk, etc. I had changed my eating habits back in high school, realizing that I did not want to end up with the same health problems they had and just because that shit – yes SHIT is what it is – was making me very sick. I think it was my body’s way of saying Hey B!tch, this ain’t going down how you think anymore.

Over the years I have been very consistent with my changes – no red meat, no pork, only poultry or fish, only skim milk – but I still indulged in the occasional bowl of Capt N’ Crunch or a Chicken Cheesesteak and Fries. After months of pondering I finally went online and signed up for a membership at my local Planet Fitness. I met with the Trainer and we spoke about Nutrition which I already knew about because at the time  I was taking a required Diet & Nutrition course for Nursing school so I pretty much knew what I had to do. But one thing she did enlighten me about was that in order to lose weight you must do more strength training than you do cardio – I, like most people, thought it was all about the cardio.

I changed my diet – more fruits, more veggies, more broiled/grilled/bakes fish or meat, more healthy adult cereals (Special K, Honey Bunches of Oats, and Chex) – and began to work out 5 days per week at Planet Fitness. Initially, the weight was coming off the way I wanted it to and I was toning at the same time which was great because people were really starting to notice. All was going well until I plateaued. I even switched my routine at the gym but nothing seemed to work. I got discouraged, even considered cutting more calories but all it did was make me nauseous.

Fast Forward to March 2012. My friends and I decided to have not one but two Pole Parties at a local studio. Now for those of you who have been following me for a while you remember my post about Pole Dancing so you know how much I love and admire the art form and those who use it to support themselves. My friends and I had so much fun at our Pole Party that I got back into taking Pole Dance classes. Little did I know that would be the turning point in my being fit and healthy journey.

A Sensual You Pole Dance and Fitness Studio is who I owe many thanks to. I cancelled my Planet Fitness membership and have been exclusively taking classes with my wonderful, knowledgeable instructor Barbara. It’s not all about the Pole, although that’s what initially draws you there. I take classes 5 days per week which include Pole, Kickboxing, Cardio, Ballet, Yoga, Climb and Core, Stiletto Fit (working out in heels!) and Twerk (yes there is a class to show you how to move like the Twerk Team but don’t be fooled it’s a lot of hard cardio work). My upper body strength is amazing!

Thus far, since my journey began in October 2011 I have lost 35lbs. Some people may not think it’s a lot but I prefer to take the weight off gradually instead of using starvation techniques that only make you gain double the weight once you eat a calorie more than you used to. I love the way I look, I love how I feel, and I am sticking to my current diet and fitness routine.

Here are some helpful tips/info that helped me along my journey:

(a) 50% is Nutrition, 40% Strength Training, 10% Cardio

(b) My Fitness Pal – iPod/Smartphone app that will help you keep track of your calories and your fitness profile. I have been using this since day one of my journey and it is so helpful with keeping track of nutrients. It will let you know when you have over consumed on nutrients such as sodium, cholesterol, fats, etc. Very helpful and highly recommended

(c) Fun classes versus the Gym – I find that if I take a fitness class that is more fun and doesn’t seem like a workout routine I go more consistently and I actually look forward to being there, whereas at the gym you know you are at the gym and there is only so much pleasure one can get out of going from machine to machine

(d) Multi-Vitamin – I’m the first to admit that I am not a fan of taking a pill everyday but have found that taking a multivitamin especially when I work out as much as I do really helps

(e) NEVER GIVE UP. There will be days you don’t feel like working out or days where you feel like nothing is happening fast enough. Just stick with it and I promise you this journey will pay off

Gay & Greek?

The Divine Nine

What Is a Delta
What Is a Delta
A Delta is what a AKA ain’t
What A Zeta wanna be
What a Sigma cant
What a Alpha like
What a Kappa love
What Que Psi Phi can’t get enough of

As you can guess I am team Delta Sigma Theta (DST). No disrespect to any of the other Divine Nine Greeks, but I come from a long line of DST women and someday I plan on becoming a member of Delta Sigma Theta Incorporated.

My college did not have a chapter when I attended, and truth be told even if they did I would not have pledged because I have this thing (more like theory) about joining Greek organizations while one is matriculating – translation DON’T DO IT, that is unless you want your GPA and financial aid status to suffer because of it. Just saying. I always knew I wanted to be a DST lady. I love what they stand for, I love their community service and education focus, and I just love the sense of sophistication, dignity, and grace they bring. No organization is perfect, but I know DST is for me.

The closer I get to putting myself out there for membership the more I began to wonder if being a Lesbian would hinder me in anyway. I never thought about it before, although I have always been a Lesbian. Now I’m going to keep it real, we all know about DL males who are members of Greek organizations even though it’s not outwardly spoken about you know you know. I actually have to credit E. Lynn Harris’s book entitled Invisible Life for shedding the light on that aspect of life. Who knew?!?

So being curious I began to search around Google for answers to me question: Is being Gay in a Divine Nine Organization acceptable? I stumbled across a site called GreekForums.com  where someone just as curious as I was about the topic proposed the same question on a thread. Now this thread is about 2 maybe 3 years old but the responses were interesting, but here is what I learned: You are not allowed to be questioned about your sexual orientation during the interview process, however if someone suspects (or knows) you are Gay or Lesbian they can use it as a basis (secretly) for not liking you and ultimately voting against you when it comes time to make the decision to accept or deny you.

The Black community is closed/narrow minded as it is. They allow the church to instill this fear and propagate a subliminal form of self-hatred against our own people that if it ain’t what the Preacher man said it should be then it’s all wrong – translation: You’re going to hell, regardless. I read some comments from people stating that homosexuals should join homosexual Greek organizations. So does that mean that the Divine Nine is a heterosexual organization? What about the Bisexuals? Don’t they need their own organization too? “I wouldn’t be comfortable with a homosexual being on line with me or working close with me or handling the same information.” So if you found out that your mail carrier was Gay or Lesbian would you then request that they discontinue serving your route because you don’t want them handling your mail?

Despite all of the shenanigans I am still going to join, but I am curious as to what others have to say about this. Do you think Gays and Lesbians should only be allowed to join Greek Organization specifically for those who are Gay or Lesbian? Would you/have you joined a Divine Nine organization? Why or why not?

Why Black Lesbians & I Just Don't Click When It Comes to Dating

Last year, one of my initial posts to this blog was about Interracial Dating. It covered a broad perspective on the topic, and I even shared one of my personal experiences. Let me say that I in no way, shape, or form have anything against African-American women. I love you all - Ummmm HELLO I am one of you – I think you are beautiful, sexy, sassy, strong, and did I mention sexy? BUT (Yes, there is a But) majority of you all just don’t get me, and when it comes to dating and relating majority of you like to adhere to these strict, outdated, gender roles which just do not sit well with me.

This is me: I’m very girly. Hair, makeup, shoes, accessories, if it’s Glam 9 times out of 10 I already own it. I like Old Navy, PZI Jeans, Uggs, Forever 21, American Eagle, H&M just to name a few. I’m well spoken, very articulate, some even say I talk like a White girl (I didn’t know a race had a specific way of speaking). I love to dine in the suburbs as opposed to your run of the mill hood establishment, and if I’m craving a night out on the town I prefer a few well known Gay/Lesbian spots in Center City versus hanging out at Roy’s Comfort Zone in the heart of North Philadelphia. When it comes to dating I prefer a fellow Feminine Lesbian.

And here is where our dilemma comes into play. Somewhere along the lines of Lesbianism within the African-American community someone ordained that we must continue to conform to the Butch/Stud-Femme style of dating and relating. Like it’s “unacceptable” for two Feminine women to date each other, or for two Butch/Stud women to date each other. And if you do step outside the proverbial box one of you must always assume a more dominant role. Uh really?!? I don’t think so! I refuse to conform to some crazy gender roles in my relationships. I want someone who is my partner, my equal, not someone who thinks there are only certain things I should be allowed to do because I am Feminine.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the predominately African-American web based fan pages and websites even play into this mentality. One I “Like” the other day posed two questions:

Studs, what can a Femme do to turn you on?

Femmes, what can a Stud do to turn you on?

F*cking really?!? What about Femme-Femme or Stud-Stud? Everyone does not conform to those pairing standards, yet it’s being propagated that the only kind of pairing that can exist is Butch/Stud-Femme. Is this the reason why all my long term relationships have been with White women? Yes and No. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to date and have a relationship with a fellow African-American Feminine Lesbian. My problem is that majority of them like to fall into those Butch/Stud-Femme pairings and sorry Honey but I’m not about to Butch Up just so you will consider dating me. When I was in relationships with White women they loved and embraced OUR femininity. They don’t have such strict standards of pairings; they just let each other be. Now I’m not saying that one woman cannot be dominant because Bette Porter’s character on The L Word is the perfect definition of an Alpha Feminine Lesbian (by the way this is sooooooooooooo my type) in a relationship with another Feminine Lesbian. But one should not have to abandon their femininity or their Femme identity, or abandon their Butch/Stud identity just to conform to the “acceptable” standards of dating and relating within the African-American community.

The Long (HARD) Road to Nursing School

“Ya Girl is back!” (in my Jay-Z voice ala Change Clothes) 

And it feels so good. This is so long overdue but I’m back, ready to make this blogging experience an ever constant part of my journey through Nursing School and beyond. So much has happened since the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012. I lost one of my Mother’s, yet gained a wonderful family in return, I got accepted into Nursing School at Roxborough Memorial Hospital School of Nursing, and got wait listed after being dissed at my first choice – Abington Memorial Dixon School of Nursing (F*ck You B!tches, PAY ME!). All in all, things worked out for the better and so my journey through Nursing School begins.

Fall Semster 2011 was hectic and crazy. I was losing my mind over my Chemistry course, yet passing with flying colors in my online Diet & Nutrition course. I had to take the TEAS exam again because I finally decided not to put all my eggs in one Nursing School basket. This was my future I was juggling with so not getting into a school was not an option. 2012 had to be the year, it was all or nothing. So I had to study for my CCP courses which I needed to pass in order to be accepted, and study for the TEAS exam which I also needed to retake in order to be accepted, and get not one but both Nursing School applications prepared for submission January 2012. Did I mention it was also the holidays so you know parties, families, craziness in general.

One thing I have come to understand is that no matter how well your machine is running, one monkey wrench can set you back to start. The Incompetents (the name I use to describe the Admissions Coordinator and the Receptionist at Dixon School of Nursing) informed me that they would not be processing my application because my transcripts were never sent. After a good 15 minute debate (they lost, ALWAYS KEEP PROOF) I was finally informed that they “accidentally” shredded my transcripts and would need a new copy of them. Of course this was two days before the application deadline! WTMF?!? Are you serious?!? If I were a real B!tch I could play the Race Card and say they tried to hinder me because I’m a minority or a Jew (hey I have a Jewish last name)…but alas I’m not that much of a B!tch, and I hate when people try to play the Race Card.

So I went to my Admissions interview at both schools, Roxborough called me in before Abington and accepted me on the spot, while you could cut the tension in the room with a knife during my interview with Abington. June 13^th is when I hit the ground running. I’m excited, I’m scared, but overall I am ready for the rest of my life to begin.

Computer Love

According to those cheesy Match.com commercials they are responsible for creating over 1 million relationships, and Facebook is responsible for the demise of at least 2 million and counting. Online dating no longer has the negative stigmas it once did in its early hay days. Now if a couple says they initially met online they’re more likely to be asked for the name of the website instead of given looks of disapproval. If you’re like me – over the bar and club scene (hey my Mothers always advised me against picking up girls in clubs and bars) and your local LGBT center no longer caters to your age group (that is unless you’re over 50, nothing against that age group but lets get real here, all the programs are for 50+ crowd while the 21-49 crowd is expected to hangout at the clubs. WRONG!) then you are left with three options for dating:

(1) Hoping that hot chick at Starbucks is a Lesbian and risking potential embarrassment by asking her out only to find out she is a Straight homophobe. Unless your Gaydar is better than Superman’s I highly suggest you avoid this option.

(2) Allowing your friends to set you up on numerous (and EXTRMELY HORRIBLE) blind dates. Out of sheer desperation one may choose this option but I think it should be a last resort because of option #3

(3) Online Dating!

I like online dating because it can take some of the awkwardness out of getting to know someone on the first date. I also like it because you have access to people you would not see in your daily dealings and you know all the women are Lesbians (or Bisexual) so it takes the guess work out of it and you get to avoid a sticky Option #1 situation. Another good thing about online dating is that things go at your pace so you’re not pressured to give someone your number just so you can have contact with them like you would if you had met her at the club or in a bar. I don’t know about you, but if a woman and I have nothing in common I sure as hell don’t want her having my cell number so she can text me and ring my damn phone off the hook (Can we say IGNORE/REJECT stalker!).

The key to starting the whole online dating experience is to find the right site for you. There are tons of sites out there, not like it was back in the 90’s when there were only a few, and they range from free (either completely or just some features) to paid memberships. Although there are a ton of sites out there now there still are very few catering to the LGBT community. My suggestion is that you explore a few sites if you can without having to setup a profile, see if they have active members and if those members are people you’d like to get to know. If not, move onto the next site. As I said there are plenty of sites out there, you have to find the right one for YOU.

So you’ve got the site you want to use, now what? Setup a good profile. I cannot stress this enough as this is the very critical piece to your online dating experience – YOUR PROFILE MUST BE HONEST AND ACCURATE AND HAVE AT LEAST 2-5 RECENT, I WILL SAY THAT AGAIN RECENT, YES RECENT, NO NOT HIGH SCHOOLS BUT RECENT PHOTOS OF YOU, AGAIN YOU, JUST YOU, NOT YOUR PLANT, YOUR CAR, YOU PET, YOUR GRANDMOTHER, YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOU! A bad profile is a bad first impression and first impressions can lead to you being asked out or you being told that you’re not my type. I highly suggest typing your About Me Section wording in MS Word and then forward to a trusted friend (preferably the one with a thorough education, and some class. Just saying. But you’ll thank me later) for editing and feedback.

Here’s my experience. I’ve been doing the online dating thing off and on for three years now so I’ve learned a lot, made some cool friends, and had a relationship with a person or two but I have to admit that I prefer online dating above all else. I love being able go at my own speed without having to give out personal contact information, I love being able to decide if I want to communicate with someone who shows an interest in me without having to make up some excuse to get out of their presence. What site do I recommend? Well Match.com seems to get more complex the longer they are around (someday I’ll put up a Match.com profile, but that’s when I have the patience to navigate that damn site. I swear it’s like Facebook – everytime you turn around somethings new) but I find that Curve Personals has a large Lesbian member base and their prices are reasonable. Check them out, and thank me when you find the love of your life (I mean it, I better get honorable mention at the wedding)

A Lesson In REAL LOVE

Life is way too short, and the recent loss of one of my Mother’s has proven that (and so much more) to me. It has also brought me to another epiphany in my life – What is REAL LOVE and who the REAL LOVES OF MY LIFE really are.

My Mother’s spirit left her beautiful earthly body on Halloween night (now I won’t ever celebrate Halloween the same again). The pain, so intense yet utterly indescribable, has taught me a lot about the feeling we call love and pain too. See before now, the only pain I considered that was of this magnitude was the pain of a broken heart. My ex was the only woman I had a relationship with that I had fallen completely head over heels in love with. I had a love for my previous girlfriends, but it was nothing like the inhibition and freedom I gave of myself in that relationship with my ex.

When my ex decided to leave I went through the entire gamete of emotions – cried out sleepless nights, utter confusion, disappointment, depression, you name it I felt it. The entire thing came out of nowhere and my heart shattered. I thought I had felt the ultimate pain from love lost…that is until 10/30/2011. I was talking to my Mother’s best friend when he informed me she was back in the hospital and it wasn’t good. I got scared, my heart started to race, I got anxious, I couldn’t sit still, I was in denial (she’ll pull through, she pulled through this summer but I’ll be on a plane the day she is scheduled to come home so I can be with her)…and then came the phone call…”She has an infection and they can’t operate because she may not survive it, and there is nothing they can do other than make her comfortable. They don’t think she’ll make it through the night.”

I prayed to God, asking him to give us more time. It reminded me of the way I prayed to God asking him to save my relationship with my ex. On 10/31/2011 at 10:05 PM my Mother passed. I couldn’t breathe, I cried, I screamed, I felt helpless, lost, confused. My air supply has just been taken away from me and no matter how hard I cried I couldn’t get her back. It’s crazy how I used to think of my ex along similar lines.

Today is a little better for me. I was able to sleep, and thanks to my Mother’s best friend I was able to laugh about her and segments of her life. I had a conversation with my Mother (Deb) in which my current epiphany was born: My ex hurting me is NOTHING compared to losing one of my Mothers’. This kind of love and pain supersedes all others. No woman will EVER be able to break my heart the way losing a Mother has. And I will NEVER give any woman that much power or energy. I know what real love is, and who the real loves of my life really are – Deb & Marnie, thank you for showing me the meaning of LOVE…

Yours, Mines, Ours: Open Relationships

Dating and relating provides you with many interesting perspectives, and with my newfound mentality on the two I have been presented with different aspects of love and relationships. One of them is the idea of an open relationship. If you’re not familiar with open relationships or the more politically correct term Polyamory. Urban Dictionary (because sometimes Webster is too ummmm sterile) defines Polyamory as the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Simple enough, right? Let’s see, shall we…

I’ve always been a serial monogamist – dating with no real breaks in between relationships – until now where I find myself single (and loving it!) with no real desire to get into a long term serious relationship any time soon (if ever again). The idea of an open marriage never sat well with me, I mean c’mon we’re married for a reason and I doubt one of those reasons was for us to be with other people, but the idea of an open relationship (no marriage intended) is something I believe I can live with.

Some may say it’s cheating or feel as though they are cheating on their current partner and I guess I can see that side of it too, but then again there is that thing called mutual consent so if you tell someone you’re okay with them dating someone else, but you’re really not then you’re setting yourself up for heartache. Don’t agree to something you are not comfortable with under the guise of trying to hold onto to someone who probably isn’t worth holding onto anyway.  Another argument is how many is how many people are too many, and do you have sex with all of them or some of them? For me, seeing one or two people outside of my relationship is plenty and sexual relations progress differently from person to person, relationship to relationship. Just keep it clean and fun.

Jealousy? It’s human nature, even when you’re in a serious committed relationship or marriage jealousy will rear its ugly head. She looked at them too long, She was flirting with them all night, She dresses sexy to get attention, She spends more time with her poly lover, She does things with her poly lover that she would never do with me, She seems closer to her poly than She does to me. It’s all too common. But it’s how you deal with it that determines the success or demise of the entire relationship.

In my serial monogamy days, I’d give my all in the relationship with the expectation of reciprocity, only to have my girlfriend fall short and leave me subconsciously wishing that I was seeing someone else, or leave me cursing myself for not being the type of woman who cheats (that mentality may change too, jury is still out deliberating). Basically, the whole letdown of my previous disappointments could have been better alleviated if I was seeing another person (or two) at the same time.

They say what one woman won’t do, another surely will so (being completely selfish here, but I don’t give a fuck!) if this statement is true, out of the women I would be dating I am bound to get what I want from one or all of them. And when I am ready to settle down, I won’t feel like I’ve missed out on something (more like someone) by putting all of my eggs in one basket hoping to hatch some chickies.

Is an open relationship for you?...

The Bisexual Game

Whether you’ve been one or been with one, all Lesbians have had experiences with bisexuals. I, personally, have nothing against Bisexual women. Some people who are very close to me identify as Bisexual, and I love them regardless. However, within the Lesbian community Bisexuals have a bad rap. They say one bad apple spoils the bunch, well a subculture of the Bisexual community has given them all a bad name.

I Kissed a Girl…But I Was Drunk We’ve all heard the stories of drunken college girls who make out and have sex with each other, and more recently make Girl Gone Wildish YouTube videos. Are these women really Bisexuals? I highly doubt it. More like these women are doing so just to please or attract more attention from men thus the huge influx of women identifying as such in order to seem more appealing to the male species.

I Love Sex with Women…But Can My Boyfriend/Husband Join/Watch? These are the women I like to label as the “Hidden Agenda Chick”. You meet and she seems like a good dating match…that is until she tells you she is in a relationship with a male or married to one. Run for the hills and run fast! Do NOT pass go and fuck the $200.00. Never believe a woman when she says “Don’t worry. I have no plans on involving him. This is just between us girls.” Bullshit! A request for a threesome or voyeur experience always is sure to follow.

Buy Me Something…And I’ll Get Sexual The phrase pretty much says it all. This is typically from your equal opportunity wannabe Sugar Babies who spread their legs for whichever Sugar Daddy or Sugar Momma provides the most Bling. She’s not Bisexual, just a freak for material gain. She’s a great pretender so beware as I would hate to see you get caught up.

Here’s my two cents on the situation. I’ve never been a Bisexual, I’ve always been a Lesbian (Gold Star Baby in my Austin Powers voice) but I do believe there are women out there who are True Bisexuals. I have no problem dating a Bisexual, BUT I will not have a relationship with one. Why? I don’t want to settle down with someone who can easily absolve themselves from issues and struggles of the Gay and Lesbian community.